To the Max!!!!

[WCW]

MG, MT, Gman, FG, thanks for your kind thoughts.
FG, within minutes of my post I got another call from H with more bad news. You remember Mr Cutie and Big Black, you and your daughter met them. (BTW, when do I get that pic of her at the gate between them?)

Big Black horse hopped to the gate on 3 legs. H called in frustration that he had already dealt with Mr Cutie, helped a new born calf, and now a major injury and H had to get on the road to meet his appointments. He asked if I would leave work and handle the vet appointment. I gladly did.
Mr Cutie is on stall rest for a while, Big Black is on injured reserve and may not return to use again. I hope this is a case of preparing for the worst while hoping for the best. Just unreal. When I called H with the news he said 'oh crap'. For my H, that's a pretty big reaction. Big Black is the first horse that we purchased as a couple and he came off a ranch that H worked on. I call him my souvineer. He will need TLC for months and months, his internal stitches will last 170 days.

Your spouse has been living under the same roof and on the couch for that long? Wow--that really is very stressful. I think I would have gone insane had my h stayed here and on the couch. I hated when he left but it was a good thing and the kids and I were able to relax, not having to walk on eggshells all the time.

Answers in order of your statements - Yes he has. Yes it is. I think I have. I don't even have eggshells left, just calcium powder. (you might have to be a chicken farmer to understand that)

You must have a lot of patience to be able to endure that.

It took me a long time to figure out a plan to get myself to focus on me and what I wanted to do about anything. Once I figured it out and got strength enough to start moving forward there has been numerous positive changes from H. The point where I am now is realizing what people have told me for about the last 2 years - will H EVER be the man again I need him to be for me? will he ever be able to step up and be honest and truthful and a life partner? I still don't know, I think he is trying in his own subtle passive/aggressive way without admitting he has done any wrong doing. I don't know if that will ever be enough, I don't think I can push this all under the rug and let it all go without ever dealing with it. That would be H's way.

Well, what's good? um, diggin deep, let's see, the apple trees have a bountiful crop of good juicy apples. They're even better dipped in caramel!