Close encounters of the MLC kind

[hoosiermama]

OK, I'm going to confess some profoundly selfish feelings here. Can anyone relate to this?

H picked up D to spend a little time with her this evening--about an hour and a half. Over dinnertime, but he didn't feed her. She came back absolutely thrilled at the time they'd spent together, reading a book together. That's pretty much what they do together these days, which is a nice thing. She went on and on about the book, read a few pages ahead and called H a couple of times to discuss it. H is now on his way to a retreat with his students until Friday. He didn't see her at all last weekend, saw her a total of 2 1/2 hours this week, and plans to have her spend the night Friday--but half the time he cancels those overnights. He rarely comes in the house, but honks for her to come out and drops her off.

I know that she is just trying to make things tolerable for herself; she misses her dad and places a lot of importance on her time with him. I know it's not unusual for kids to project the parent who left onto a pedestal. And I truly do understand that she needs a good relationship with her dad at this time in her life. And I do whatever I can to support that, which involves a lot of tongue-biting. But I feel betrayed all over again because D is always so excited to see her father. I'm doing 99% of the parenting, the chauffering around, the homework, the boring everyday stuff, while he gets to have fun with her and then go off and pursue whatever self-actualization he chooses to do. I'm feeling a little like chopped liver.

I'd never ever mention this, and I'm sure I'll get over it; I understand it all in my head. But feeling-wise, it hurts. I think I need to bump up the zoloft.