Recently I have been feeling pretty good about things over the last few days. The setback we had at dinner with his folks wasnt a big deal. I was afraid that it would shake things up a bit, but it really has only helped me in the long run.
My H realized that he was speaking out of line and very negatively about a situation that is improving. He apologized many times to me that night about what he said. I accepted his apology and havent thought much of it since.
Since then, my H has been so loving and acting like the old H. I crave those times. It is like we get on the same page when he is invested in us. When he blows me off, or changes plans - I start to get so worried. I need to get better at not thinking negatively during those times.
He has spent every minute of the last three days with me. He even has stayed away from the bars all three nights when two of those nights he would have a reason to be there usually.
He also suggested that this saturday since we dont have to bowl that we go out and do a day trip in the canoe together instead of partying all day at some bar. I was so excited to see him show this concious effort to find alternatives to drinking every night.
Now, I know that this is only been a recent change I am seeing in my H. But at the same time, I feel like he is starting to actually realize the effects of his alcoholism on our M. I know he will still visit the bars in the future, but its like right now- he is making an effort to avoid them and I am loving it.
For the first time in the last 5 months of peicing, I am finding that he is starting to come here straight after work instead of going to a bar first to drink for 3 or 4 hours. It is wonderful to feel like he is being more of a H rather than just a boyfriend.
I hope that these improvements continue on. I am finding myself feeling much better about us and our future than I did just a few days ago. TIPPER
