Still Tryin's 3rd piecing

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Just a note that I will be heading out of town tomorrow! will be back on Wed or thur, but may be able to check in at my moms. We'll be in pittsburgh watching a steeler game! hoping we can do some fun stuff together as well, since we'll be alone this time.

I just got an questionaire if you will, on my aunt and her request for anulment of her M. ugh. don't really want to do it. it's annonymous, but still, when you feel in your heart that every M could be saved, and that M is suppose to be for life, it's hard to take my aunts side. He did have his problems, could't hold a job well, drank too much, may have done some pot here and there, and had some anger problems, but my aunt had problems of her own. she was very controlling, handled everything, would treat him almost as a child, so it was a huge cycle that just got worse and worse. and he would try so hard, but it would be TOO hard that it was annoying and eventually she was disgusted by him. I suppose all I will do is try to answer the questions as honestly as possible. yuck.
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alright, so I've decided that I'm as big as I was pre-bomb, and I'm very upset with myself! so, I'm fasting in some way this week, well, eating less anyways. It's very good for your body to fast for a few days (fasting as in only eating fruits, or only liquids, not actual starvation fast) every few months. I was getting into a bad habit of eating too much, so this will be good for me. I have also tried to do more exercises again, but it's hard.

I've also decided that I need to start being positive about everything. I really complain too much, and I need to wrap myself around everything that is good and pleasing to God! There are many things in my life where things are not going the way I had hoped. Things that are harder or disappointing. But I cannot let those things attack me, and I will take them in as lessons. God is still teaching me patience, as my childcare business is harder than I would have thought...having 7 boys in my house, that's too much testosterone! I even ended up praying over a 9 year old that got way way way out of hand, I didn't even let him on the bus, it was that bad. maybe someday I'll tell ya what happened, but it was aweful! then, I have felt that the enemy has really attacked me on my monavie bus. there have been several people that were very excited to do it with me, and then they disappear! I mean, I don't THINK I'm a crazy person that people decide all the sudden they don't like me??? There are so many people becoming so successful with it, and I think I've had this belief in my mind that it won't ever work for me, so now I'm making it come true. I've had so many let downs in my life, and we've always been on the poor side, or lacking side, so I've never seen anything higher for myself, I've always seen myself at the bottom. I'm never going to quit though because it's changed my life and so many of my friends, so I will always tell people about it no matter what happens on the business side of it.

okay, I should pray since my s4 is asleep, and I need to do that more often, and especially for all of you.

love you all!!!