Working on believing in miracles

[istherehope]

Hi Sep,

Thing is that I didn't cheat on him! I could TOTALLY understand if I had or if he thought I had, but it's all about feeling controlled! Even on the joint session Jody said that this was the most common complaint that men had about women, and that the flipside was true where women felt they'd be abandoned. He was rude about this even then...

I did try to get him to see I'd changed too much. Thing is he SAID I'd changed on our joint session! Yeah the rented room and my loans. This is why he is not living in reality I am SURE he would say that we paid his tuition late so why not pay my loans late...he is ABSOLUTELY clueless.

In fact he has NO idea what happens in our bank accounts. A part of me thinks that there is no real issue with the marriage as such, but with his state of mind. He is seeing a PT, but this kind of talk is just not normal. I am not sure there is anything I can do about this.

So I still don't know what to do next. I wanted to ask H today whether he was on medication, but didn't do this :). Probably for the best. I don't think he'll call tonight, which is fine.

I hope he doesn't reach out tomorrow. If he does, I am going to be so icy, he will feel frostbite. I mean I don't want to act hurt, but he was rude right? I think at some point he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. I REALLY wish I could email his mom and his therapist a copy of that IM...

ITH