I guess for me it's going to have to be the lease being up unless things change dramatically one way or the other in the interim. I am not going to shirk my responsibilities.
I just can't believe I'm 33 years old and might have to go through this again...I used to always watch Sex and the City and think about how grateful I was that I wasn't still dating.
Ugh I can't stop sobbing tonight.
Thing is I have a lot going for me, not to be vain. I have a good job, a good education, and I am fit and in shape. However I just don't know whether I have the emotional strength to deal with this all again. I know you'll understand, but I really didn't think pain like this was possible. You know, I used to be deathly afraid of flying. Now, I am so caught up in what real pain is like that I don't even notice when I am flying. I used to say I would never have children because of the labor pains. Now I would gladly do that if given the chance.
I don't think I'm being rational anymore, but I have been crying for 4 hours now. I really don't know what to do right now.
I have a friend going on honeymoon for 1 month around the time that I get back. I am thinking of staying in her place for that month to save us some money, even though it means I am supporting my H. I am just so tired of being poor, and maybe that additional month will allow us to get closer and prevent the separation. It probably won't due to his pride, but I think I'm willing to try. Yes I did something bad and just emailed H about this. It wasn't a bad email though, just said that to help with finances I might be willing to do this if the house was nice enough etc...
You know the ironic thing? H said he was in love with me for a year before we started dating. I had another BF and he never gave up. I broke up with the BF, started dating someone else, and he got angry, but never gave up. Now, after just a few months, he is willing to give up on a marriage to me.
I feel like calling my dad and crying, but if my dad ever found out, he'd never forgive my H and as I'm not giving up on the M yet, I can't do this...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
