My gut feeling is W has been contacted by OP (phone or txt)don't think it's anymore than that, and shes just kinda lashing out at people, maybe it caught her off guard. I think W is upset about the coats and the rest of stuff she is ranting about is just collateral damage.
Regarding the hols, W and D7 have just spent 7 weeks staying at MIL's and D is very disorientated and upset at not being in her own house. And now if W and I dissapear for a long weekend we both thought this would be too much for her. D7 is almost like my shadow when I'm around, and misses me when I'm not, so as I've said the last few weeks havn't been good for he so I'm ok to take her with us.
i just posted to BBJ who seems to be struggling with similar doubts. i told her not to underestimate the power of the "other relationship". At the end of the day we can only become tyhe better option.
Lan, I see you are still in the war room with the usual LANmines - argumentative W (mine too would start with X then hit me from the side with Y and Z), money, wireless LAN signals from OP. But the fact that you can sense all this and respond sensibly is admirable. Sorry I've been scarce these days. If you renew your promise to stay tuned I might start my own thread.
Hi Lanzo, Could the way she's been acting lately be a result of the stress of living in a house that's in upheaval? Sometimes I lash out at things that are petty when I'm feeling particularly stressed. If there's alot of stress, I don't have the energy to stop and think before blurting out something that I wish I hadn't said. Not a good trait, but I've been working on it.
I would suggest doing something particularly nice for your w to show her you love her and will continue to love her, even if the alien swoops in every now and then.
Could the way she's been acting lately be a result of the stress of living in a house that's in upheaval?
Definately yes, I do know the stress of the upheaval is getting to W, I also see the same stress in D7 which is why she will be joining in on our holidays. My concerns or gut feelings just centres around some of W's nit picking (no all documented) which I was all too familiar with after the bomb was dropped and W was hell bent on keeping physical distance between us while she was connected to OM.
Thanks for the suggestion, we will try to have a good and loving family weeekend and take it from there and hopefully if there is any stuff going on in the background it will fade in its own time.
Some of W actions are definately similar to what was thrown at me in the immediate post bomb period, with the aim of destablising me to keep a distance between us which enabled her to be with OM. Even when I do good things she finds bad in it.
However, there are somthings which happen which says we are ok(ish). I mean full intermacy (nudge, nudge) has stopped for some time now which is a concern but we do snuggle together at bed time, which was a definate no, no when she wanted to be with someone else. Yesterday I washed her car and she complemented me for doing such a good job,both otherwise I feel an edge when she talks to me, it the old look hard enough and you'll find a fault then pick at it.
But as you say I maybe being overly sensitive to things and misreading the situation, I definatly hope that is the case.
Anyway Barcelona on Thursday we'll see how that goes.
Keep watching, sounds as if something is up looking in from here. No idea what though. Could be anything from completely negative to completely positive, just so hard to read.
I will say tho, what you describe your W acting like was exactly what I faced and it tended to get worse post being with another man. Not that your W has, but just to be careful buddy, but you know that.
Similarly, could be her trying to prove the old Lanzo is still there and doing everything to get a bite just to say 'You've not changed see, knew it wouldn't last'
I don't mean to sound the alarm but I have a problem with lack of nudge nudge....of course your W and mine could be two different animals. I just think that when a woman withholds sex for "some time", something is up.
I really hope I am wrong....maybe we could get some opinions from the ladies.
