Dawn your posting is a real inspiration to me-thank you so very much for taking time to read my story. Last May I thought my world had ended-I was 58,about to retire to my home town with H when the bomb dropped. I really thought I would go crazy with the grief and fear. He has/had? ow but isnt happy-keeps saying he doesnt want a divorce and keeps in touch though its only once a week or so.After 28 years its hard to be my own person-you see, he was my entire world (I think thats one of the reasons he couldnt cope) He keeps saying that I have changed so much. I pray that he finds clarity and returns to me but no more tears or pursuing from me! He says he loves me but I know he is scared Mostly,we dont discuss the marriage. I think I have a 50/50 chance of him returning but I know now I can live without him.I am so sorry to hear of your clinical depression-you really have pulled yourself out of the pit what a fighter,do write and tell me more about your self if you feel able. When he first left I cried constantly I mean non- stop I went down to 5 stone- doctor prescribed amyltriptaline but it spaced me out! Im certainly not against drug therapy if it keeps you from going over the edge. God bless you x