Things sound good, as always. I would like to point out that when she was talking about how you and her would have each other to do those things with, I doubt she was confused about what she was saying. How bout for the sake of argument you just assume you are not separating or divorcing.
Bill says....
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Because, make no mistake, you are NOT busting a divorce anymore. You are rebuilding a marriage. Ala "The Six Million Dollar Man"...better, stronger, faster.
Forrest says...
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I agree with Bill.
Could you guys maybe get her to let me in on the secret???
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Sometimes I think you're a real "glass is half empty" kind of guy. She calls to apologize. She says "I'd really like to go." And of course you assume it means because she wants to enjoy your friends, that it couldn't have anything to do with you. Then, in a couple weeks, you'll be relating the camping trip, talking about how she kept seeking you out all weekend, how she wouldn't stay far from your side.
That felt a little like a....maybe not a 2x4, but a slap in the back of the head??? Point taken....I feel good today...positive....not going to dwell.
Trip is on. She changed her schedule and is making a 4 hour round trip home from the site just to take care of one appointment...she is amazing. Who cares why she did it, as long as she is going to be there.
Last night was a nice night...just to journal a bit.
We skipped dinner because we both had the late lunch that I brought to work for her...took the dog outside for a run together, and settled in to relax.
She was reading and I was doing some paperwork....there was still the makings for margaritas from "Football Sunday" so I made us a drink....just one, then we both decide we were hungry. We ended up in the kitchen together making a snack and then went in to watch a movie...her in the chair, me on the couch.
After a while I asked her to come over and sit by me, which she did.
Now, I will point out the positive. As I lay on my back she came over to lay with her back to me so I could rub her back and shoulders.
I have not felt her melt into my arms like that in years, let alone the last few months since the bomb with all the crazy partying and such. It just felt like she could not get herself close enough to me and turned her head several time to kiss me. With all the escapades over the months, she has never even just laid by me much like that just to be close and relax.
My goal was to leave it at that...be close and relaxed and not let it go any further, but she would not let me.
Afterwards in bed, she told me how much she had enjoyed herself and that it was nice that it was still early and that we were not drunk...nice change, she said.."very nice"....and I rubbed her back until she fell asleep.
It's days like yesterday that make it easier to get through the distant times, but even with all I see and what you guys say...it's hard. I know I have it pretty easy compared to most....just hate the thought of getting comfortable with the thought that she is moving forward, and then getting bombed again.
