Im so glad you checked in.....I'm trying to hold it together but some of my days are hard...and I can't stop myself from crying...I just get totally wore out....exhausted being Mom, dad, chauffer, cooker, cleaner,launderer....you name it....I"M TIRED!!!! Oh, and son was sick last week with the ear infection again...I took care of that....D16 is having surgery on Monday....tonsils removed....I had to take her to the specialist, to the hospital to give blood, etc....and H just gets to do his thing.....grrrrrr..
What hit me the other night was when I went out to meet some friends for a few hours and my son says to me...."mom, you go out every night with your friends""....I said, "no I don't there are other things that take me from home...like grocery shopping, meetings, etc....but I actually felt bad...I have sat in the house for 15 months waiting for a change and now that I'm getting a little bit of a life....I feel like I'm leaving my kids....I shouldn't feel guilty....I still take care of them...I still love on them....& when H gets him its all fun and games....but he doesnt get the sadness from the kids that I do...Its all crap.....when I went out the other night son called me about 20 mins after I left saying his stomach was killing him...now....my guess was that he was afraid I wasn't going to return...but we had that talk....when I got home his stomach was bothering him but it's not the first time that has happened....I am so mad at H for putting my kids through this....he really does not know the affects this situation is having on our kids....its frustrating....and I'm drained....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
