How do I start

[Trixi]

Believe none of what they do and half of what they say.

She's testing you. She IS worried if she said "ok" that you WOULD go there and be miserable and blame her. And I had the same concern, so it seems very valid to me.

Remember when I said that you needed to come up with a plan to deal with CT and not end up resentful? In my opinion, that is what she was looking for (at least a little.)

So when she said "What if I asked you to come up tomorrow?" You could say "Funny you asked that because I don't want to end up miserable or blame you if I am. I have come to realize that happiness comes from within and it would be MY choice to move there. I value my family. So, in thinking about how to deal with the main issues I have with CT (the cold, rain, snow -whatever) if we went on vacation Dec and Feb to sunny locals, that would help. Also I have looked into a light box. I plan to take up skiing so I can learn to embrace the cold." blah blah blah. I don't know HOW you would deal with it, but concrete ideas need to be planned.

She wanted to see what you would say. She wanted to make sure that you have actually thought this thru and see what you would do to keep her from being blamed. She is definitely thinking. Don't push her, but if it comes up again (What if I asked...) take the opportunity to show that you have actually considered it seriously, not in a desperate "I'll do *anything*" type of way, but in a wise, thoughtful sort of way.

Well, at least those are my thoughts. Your mileage may vary.