Kat, thanks for keeping an eye on me, I do appreciate your effort and support, you along with so many people here have kept me on the path to recovery.
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H4H And she messed with your mind. She is good at it.
Yes the I love you speech really put me in a tailspin, I saw the John Mayer PBS show also, well just a part, the second song after I turned it on was Dreaming With A Broken Heart and I couldn't take it, couldn't even make it through the whole song, so I turned it off. You are right I am very lucky to have my kids as much as I do, between the kids and you guys/gals here I'm getting through all of this - thanks H4H
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whatdidido:. She likes having the kids love on her, but parenting skills are weak, doesn't like to discipline, doesn't like to do the "work" involved in having kids, etc. She has told me that she likes that she has her kids part time, she has more time to herself.
Wow whatdidido, spot on, I was always the one who had to discipline the kids, W does like the kids to love on her, but after awhile she is done, go away, W always complained about the work involved with raising the kids, laundry, all the mess that needed to be taken care of, etc. Thanks whatdidido, I always enjoy hearing from you and you provide a unique prospective, thanks for checking in on me.
New stuff
After I picked the kids up from after school care, I was going to cut the grass, so I grabbed an old shirt, I grabbed my softball tee-shirt and D9 and D6 both were worried about where I was going, had to reassure them that I wasn't going anywhere. Its sad they are so worried about people leaving them. I will never leave them I pray to God to keep me health so I can watch over my babies.
W arrived this morning to pick up the kids, I haven't started splitting this duty with her yet, because with everything going on I think its best for both W and the kids to see each other as much as possible. W bought kids some new clothes, I was trying to clean up breakfast dishes, so I could get to work she insisted that I see what she bought, I continued to work, nodding politely and saying that's nice as she pulled each item from the bag.
W received a letter from her aunt (someone she respects very much) her aunt and uncle were at the funeral and I talked to them for some time, they are so happy my W married me. The letter was addressed to both of us, but I didn't open it up. W was reading it this morning I could tell it had pictures in it and a lengthy note, I guess they don't know W moved out yet, neither does one of her close friends, who called the house 3 times last week looking for W.
W seemed to want to talk to me this morning, I don't know if it had to do with the letter or what but she was following me around and the kids were following her around (very funny) W was getting a little upset that the kids would not leave her alone with me, she seemed to want to talk, but couldn't and I didn't say anything I just went about my business.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe, Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... (John Mayer)
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
