Working on believing in miracles

[istherehope]

I feel so horrible. I had to leave work and I am at home sobbing now. I didn't know that my H had that cruelty in him. Earlier on IM he was saying things like about how he worried about me. Then on the phone he was so mean. He said that he was not going to choose unhappiness anymore, was not going to be bullied anymore. I said that I was sorry that he felt it was me and the relationship that had caused him all that unhappiness and he was all sarcastic and said things like "Oh yeah I'm sure there are plenty of other things making me unhappy". On the call once he said I hadn't changed at all. This was the first time he had ever used the word divorce with me. He also said he just wasn't feeling in love. I said I understood and that didn't phase me.

He said I am "not doing him any favors by letting him lead his life as he wants" in relation to me saying I had done a lot to try and be accommodating over the past 3 months. About living under the same roof "i cannot do it I cannot, I cannot, I cannot".

Now I'm basically forced into not living with him as he'll never concede. I just really can't believe this. All along I had so much hope and completely believed I had a good situation. I don't know what to do. He was even saying things like I should go back and live in the US 3 months, 6 months, whatever.

I made some mistakes. On IM I asked "and do you hope to love me again?"
H says: it would be good to
: it would be good to be happy with you

This is literally the worst I have felt this whole time. I think he has been lying to me all along about wanting to work things out. I just want to quit my job and go away.

ITH