Good to see you posting. I just wanted to second or third the others - you've done a great job with the cards you were dealt (hows that for a Vegas reference?!).
The boys will realize if they haven't already that you've been a great provider and father figure, and given the limits in actual time you've had with them, you didn't curl into fetal position, but keep yourself on a healthy path in many ways. Now the fun begins. They are free to pursue their own adult paths, but can spend their leisure time that much more freely with you.
I do get the parental melancholy at this point, but it seems like you do better looking forward than backward.
I think you two will greatly deserve an empty nester party when that day actually arrives. Until then, you still have quite a load of teenage hormones hanging around, hey?
I've been giving advice, but now I wouldn't mind taking some, if anyone has any insights for me.
Lately I've been feeling really down and I can't put my finger on it. I have had a kind of "I don't give a sh$t" attitude with my wife, and haven't really put forth a whole lot of effort to get along. It almost feels like I have pent up resentments but I can't think of anything I'd be resentful about. I know it's adversely affecting my relationship, but it's like I'm expecting my wife to pull me out of this or to make the efforts required to make everything okay. Logically I know she can't, but I can't seem to find the gusto to act/be loving towards her first.
The only thing different at the moment is that my slipped disc is acting up badly again and I really can't get much activity going except for walking. Don't know if it's related.
I don't like this, but I'm struggling to shake it. Any ideas on how to get things going?
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Are you able to discuss your concerns about your feelings with your wife without having to defend them?
Everyone goes through ups and downs. A physical injury has to definitely bring you down especially if there is a lot of pain.
Have you and your wife ever done much board games?
I know you realize the dynamics of relationships well, but it is much easier standing on the sidelines giving advice or learning about it than actually living it. Love is a choice and I hope you can recognize all the good in your wife and accept the bad. I like what Theoden says "marriage is like a rock tumbler that polishes out the flaws of both in the marriage".
I have had a kind of "I don't give a sh$t" attitude
Been there, done that, especially when driving past the still open Krispy Kreme stores. Oh wait a min, you're talking about Rs.
Keep feeding the self via GAL work, JM. More of that will help keep the resentment monster at bay. Women seem cyclical, with some cycles taking even weeks to allow for greater synchrony/focus on you.
I sounded a bit like Sting there, didn't I. . . . "Roxanne! You don't have to turn on your red light!" ahem, ahem.
