No matter what the final settlement of your D is, she will believe that she got screwed. You were supposed to disappear off the face of the earth and take all the debts with you--except at child support time when you would magically reappear long enough to send a check.
So while all of the lies she has told about you have been upsetting, you can take some comfort in knowing that your mere existence will ruin her day for the forseeable future. She really has given you a lot of power. At some point after the legal issues have been decided, you'll get past the anger and start to pity her for the broken person that she is.
The unfortunate part is that you'll have to work extra hard as a father to counterbalance the influence that her disfunction has on your daughter. In the end you'll be able to look back with pride and see the job you've done as a parent as your life's greatest accomplishment.
