Get mad,get strong;wipe your hands..then u STAND!

[Treese]

Hi All......haven't been on much lately.....just a bunch of the same old crap...and believe me, it's getting old.....

H has been to see son....taken him on Fridays mostly but bringing him back quickly on Saturday mornings so not to interupt in his outings with OW....I've really gotten used to it....but the other day it hit me....the fact that he is so comfortable in his life now and what he is doing....and it is really hitting me that our marriage is really over....it scares me....I don't want to be without him but his actions are that he is so okay without us and living on his own....sad....I have gotten a life, tried to get used to him not being at home also....but truly....I miss his terribly.....I want to hug him...smell him.....all of it....

My daughter will be going to the homecoming dance this weekend...I met the boy she is going with...he goes to another school....turns out he is the son of a girl my H graduated with and I with her sister....what a small world...she was talking about H and telling me to tell him hello....she doesn't know the sitch and Im not going to tell....it's too painful....we all used to get together at each others houses when the kids were little....everyone knows us as US....forever.....D16 still isnt talking much to H....she is actually doing a paper for school on cheating.....her idea....I will be interested in reading it....
she still doesnt smile much and has a hard time trusting but we're working on that.....S11 is also starting to be affected....he has been holding things in and they are starting to come out....especially when it has to do with money.....I told him not to worry but he's only 11, doesn't quite understand...

still no results on the paternity tests.....still have lots of anxiety about that....dont' think I can get rid of that until the results are in....and H doesn't understand why it will affect me again...cause I already know....WTF? He really is living in his own world....it has no problems....it's fun....he has OW....his kids...and doesn't appear to be bothered by not talking to 2 of them....

I know I'm complaining...just haven't gotten this off my chest in a while...needed to vent.....

And anyone know where yellowrose is????



Thanks for listening.....