Working on believing in miracles

[istherehope]

OK we've just had the WORST Im conversation EVER!!!!

He's said he absolutely can't live with me, that it's like being in prison.

He is done with being married, but he won't date anyone else. Yes he would like to be happy with me someday, but he can't sacrifice his own happiness right now. I said that we should really do this in person rather than via IM. I said that I wanted to see him etc. It was SOOOO bad and right now I can barely hold myself together.

We can't afford 2 residences but he doesn't care.

He wants me to be gone for as long as possible in Poland, but now that I know this is coming, I just want to go back.

He ended the conversation by saying "take it easy and relax, everything works out for the best". I HATE him right now. he has " lived years and let you guide things and gave up my happiness because i thought i was making you happiness" so he is done sacrificing. PLEASE. He never even told me any of this!!! "the thought of living with you and going back to that life makes me want to cry" "goddamit, let me be alone please"

"well- i understand that there are financial considerations but i will be damned if i cam going to live in prison to make things easier"

Then he says maybe I should go work in Argentina for awhile. My company is not my world tour operator!!!!!

I could ask for some unpaid leave and go somewhere, but again then we won't be able to see each other. He wants to see each other, but only in neutral places. I DON"T know what to do now and every week that I have a good feeling, like a miracle is going to happen, it all comes crumbling apart.

I am SO lost!!!

ITH