I know you and you H have been through a lot and at one point it seemed like you were both lost to each other with all of the different issues that you both had. Over here in piecing is quieter that newcomers so don't expect fast responses but folks are friendly enough.
My one piece of advice would be that the things you obsess about, the things you feel you need to know, find someway to can them, bury them and not let them drive your everyday feelings. The bottom line is you have to wipe the slate clean and move forward and not look back.
If you and your H are the type that can openly discuss past failings then thats another matter. but from what I remember of you previous sitch a lot of what you and H went through needs to be looked at acknowledged and then buried for good so you can have a fresh start.
