God give me the patience and the strength...7

[theotherhalf]

Yesterday we got a load of "flyash". It's a coal by-product that's cheap and turns hard like cement. Been trying to get H to try this for years. We've got a barn stall that is too low and is nothing but a water/sh*t hole and couple of other places too. finally the other day out of the blue he says to get a load. Anyway. We got the load and he spread what he could with the tractor and loader before I got home from work. Then when I got home, I worked at it with the shovel. Damb! I'm tired and sore! But it looks soo good and ANOTHER accomplishment!

So I didn't sleep well last night. I think the money thing is the biggest reason. I am torn. I feel guilty that we (me and the girls) are such a "burden" to H. That he may have to work a second job. That I feel like I should do something more to help pay the bills. And yet DAMB him! It's his fault we are in this boat in the first place. It's him that quit on us. It's him that decided to go live somewhere else. I work full time plus still here for the girls every night. And am doing what I can to keep this place up.

I wanted to address something that someone said the other day. People here keep telling me that H is still early in this MLC. That confuses me. I realize that everyone is different but, these seem to be the "norm" or the common sitches...
LIN: H left 2004 Saffie: H A 1/05
Ret. 2006 remarried 9/06

JenJam: bomb 9/05 New attitude: bomb 4/07
R 10/06 R 4/08

NikB: bomb 10/06
piecing 7/08

These sitch's seemed to last 1-2 years that the spouse is actually "gone". That seems common by reading this board and others. So why is it you keep saying my H is early in this? Is it because of his actions, of where he seems to be at in his MLC?