Peicing but Angry and Confused.......HELP !

[native]

One thing my W said yesterday particularly frosts me.

She complained about the projects that got started around the house but never finished.

What is crazy is that the answer should be as obvious to her as it is to me.

In order to do projects one needs time and/or money. If you are doing them yourself, skill and inclination are also required.

If you are hiring them out, $$$ is required.

I explained to her what she already should know. $$$ has been tight (long story) so if they are to get done, I have to do them.

I have the skill and inclination, however....no time.

As long as W avoided any responsiblity for house or child, I was spending my weekends washing/cleaning/cooking (maintainence stuff) and taking care of child's needs, while she slept late, played on the computer, watched tv and during the last year, planned outings with a depressed single girl she met at work.

To explain this to her would be to state the obvious. And to infuriate her.

How could she not know ? Is she that disconnected from reality ?



W once indicated that she wanted regular maid service and a house without projects.

Yet maid service costs $$$, and we bought this house knowing full well the driveway was not paved and the garage was dilapidated. I did as much interior work as I could ( cosmetic) before we moved in, but some never got finished.

We had a $300/mo. mortgage before moving here, now its $1430/mo. This is what it cost to buy a livable old house in our town in a safe neighborhood 4 yrs. ago. (Other neighborhood was not a great place to raise children, but it is where we met).

But the house is 1938 vintage and does require maintainence and hasn't been remodeled completely. But that was obvious going in. So why did we buy this house when she did not want a project ? I think it was the cuteness and the fact it was in a much better neighborhood. And the fact it was less than a mile from her work.

Another rant: For over 6 mos. W searched MLS and we saw countless houses. She fell in love with almost 1/4 of them at first sight and had to be pryed away with a crowbar because of flaws that were obvious to me. She just has a habit of getting attached to houses easily. Actually, I think it's the thrill of buying crap that fuels her. With houses as with many other things, once the purchase is over, the thing sits neglected and ignored where she drops it.