Out of limbo land

[Jayce]

OK, I get the "family thing" about calling your son "the Kid", sorry. I stand by what I said about sensitivity training & am adding anger management, tho. Verbal abuse erodes love for the abuser. On some level an abuser may expect his wife to improve in some way as a result of sarcasm, criticism, but that'll never happen. My guess is you learned this behavior at home as a kid.

A more serious thing would be your son seeing this. No matter how young. You will be creating a future abuser. OR...when he is big enough, say around 15, he'll go after you for attacking her, verbally or not. Remember the adage, the best gift a father can give a child is to love (and respect) his mother. Causing a split that exposes a child to economic hardship is no picnic for him either.

I don't get why guys are so shocked when their wives leave them after verbal, or physical abuse or being cheated on. Not sure if the hurt is real or its just that her leaving is telling the tale on you. Heard a guy say "I don't understand why she left. I never hit her" Liked the couple who didn't yell at each other when they made mistakes, like spilling a can of paint or denting a fender-the wife told me the first time he berated her she told him he wasn't her dad & she wasn't his mom, they were adults and should treat each other accordingly. Even little kids feel bad about mistakes and don't need to be scolded and belittled.

How would you feel if she treated you the way you treated her? Never happen? Not a woman's place? I know guys married to ball busters who left. If you really want to reconcile, at some point you have to put yourself in her "shoes" and think it through. Takes a long time to rebuild trust. I'm sorry you're hurting, know its no fun waiting it out. Takes over you're whole life. If you haven't read the Mars Venus book, give it a try. I am & I hear myself and H both in the list of "typical" comments couples make. None of us are special or exceptional, we're all humans whose behavior follows the same patterns much as we'd like to believe we're better or smarter than that. Nothing wrong with learning from someone who has figured out our mistakes and wrote a book to help us.