God give me the patience and the strength...7

[theotherhalf]

toh, it sounds like you are more involved and supportive of H and the farming activities. H notices and appreciates that. Is that correct?

I am trying to be more involved. Trying to help more. Kicking myself for not doing more before. I don't know if he appreciates it or he's taking advantage of me. Don't know if any of what I am doing matters one iota. He does thank me. That is something he started doing way back.

You are creating new and pleasant memories with your H. Keep doing that.

Damb I'm trying. Not just for H but because I enjoy doing the farm stuff with him.

After spending the day and night here Sunday. He now seems to be avoiding me. Except for phone calls. He called again tonight. But this conv. didn't go so well. We got to talking about money, lack of. I told him Sun am that there was no money in the household account and I haven't paid any bills this month. He acted as though he didn't hear me or care. Tonight money got brought up again. He misunderstood the other day. Tonight he got it and didn't like it at all. I tried not to show my frustrations. I tried to be supportive. He said he'd get a second job. I said how, you don't sleep now. I wanted so bad to say COME HOME but I didn't. I dropped off a print out of the checkbook when I went in to get N14. He said "I don't need that, I don't care." I said, "I just don't want you to think I am hording or spending the money up" he said "I know your not".

I told him that this morning I just told myself that we'll hang on as long as possible. Then file for bancruptcy. Everyone else does. (OW did right before they got together). He didn't like that at all. (before MLC he hated it that people did this when he worked so hard to pay his bills). "No we are not doing that, that's stupid" he said. I said "well then we're going to have to end up selling the place". He changed the subject and I let him.

this is so frustrating...