Tomorrow my Husband will be leaving again for CA for a 2 week business trip. He will be away for S13 birthday, which I am not too happy about.
I am actually irritated that this trip was scheduled as I have only just started a new job and with 6 young kids at home and they are in 3 different schools, it's a bit mind boggling.
I am trying to figure out a plan to juggle everything. I think we have come up with a solution, I will know Monday if it works out.
I know I really have nothing to complain about, I managed when he was gone all of the time before. I just hate that it is always me that has to make the sacrifices.
I feel myself begining to detach again, it is easier for me then to talk about things. I know, a bad habit that is left over for me from MLC.
I started writing him a letter, which I will put in his suitcase tomorrow. He will get it when he arrives there.
Other then this, everything else is going well. The new job is hard work, but I am learning stuff.
I am also working about 10-15 hours a week cooking for a local place, making their homemade soups and desserts, which I really enjoy doing.
The big kids will be home next week to celebrate their Brother turning 14. He will be very happy to have them around for his special day.
Have a blessed weekend,
(((((hugs))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I hope the planning works out for the next 2 weeks! I can hardly manage sometimes with one, so please know that I feel your pain of juggling the 6 you have!
What are you doing for S13's bday? Do you bake a cake for him or order one? I'd assume baking but you never know.
Hi BND, I hope you are doing alright. It must be difficult juggling everything, but I know you will be able to do it. I always admired you for being able to be such a super mum on top of having so many problems. But thank goodness those times are over. Take care. (((HUGS)))
BND, Six kids??!! I didn't know that! Are they all yours and H's joint natural offspring (if that's not too personal a question)? The info isn't in your signature file, so I was wondering...how old are they? Boy/girl?
I know you are just venting, and I am sure it is frustrating trying to manage everything on your own, but if you look back, weren't there times when you would have given your right arm to have this be your biggest problem? I'll bet there are plenty of people here who would love to be in your current shoes! I know that I have become MUCH better at letting go of all the petty irritations now that I have things on my mind that are so much more horrible. ...Does that help you put things in perspective? I'm certainly not trying to beat you up! I am sure you will get something worked out to deal with the sitch.
It sounds like the job(s) are really a great experience for you! It sounds lovely to me (although I have come to realize that I only like to cook when I don't HAVE to cook!). My mom always used to say that no woman has more than twenty years of cooking in her, and that was a few years ago for me, but I may have burned out early!
Hope you are doing well today, BND!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Hey BND, hope you're doing well this week with the new schedule while H is out of town. Glad you were able to check out early last night too. We all can use the R&R sometimes. Love ya!
Dawn, Actually I have 8 kids, 5 girls and 3 boys. The oldest is 22 and the youngest is almost 7. Yes I gave birth to each of them and my Husband is the Father of all of them. You know Dawn, a few years ago I thought just like you do. I thought that everything would just fall into place if only my Husband were not in MLC, and if only he would come home, and there were no OW, then everything in my life would be just perfect. No, I would never give up my right arm for anyone. The difference between you and me is that I no longer have the rose colored glasses on. I see reality for what it is now. I learned how to survive without my Husband, and how to make my life happy even if he never came back. I learned that he is not my reason for living. I love my Husband. I am glad he is home. My Marriage is in a good place. I have learned that I do not need him to be happy, and that I am the prize, NOT him. I do not need anyone to put things into perspective for me, and I do not need a reality check. But I am also human and I am allowed to have a shitty day. MLC survivor or not, trying to work 2 jobs, one part time and one full time and be a wife to my Husband and a Mother to my kids can be overwhelming at times, especially when he is away for 2 weeks and I am trying to do an amazing balancing act.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I learned how to survive without my Husband, and how to make my life happy even if he never came back. I learned that he is not my reason for living. I love my Husband. I am glad he is home. My Marriage is in a good place. I have learned that I do not need him to be happy, and that I am the prize, NOT him.
Bravo!! Well said!
It is so difficult to get everyone on DB to understand -- that until they stop putting their marriage restoration before their relationship with the Lord...it will never happen.
You are such a shining example of someone who "gets" it!
I feel so sad for all those who are truly only living from contact to contact with their H. Whose lives and moods are 100% determined by their H's actions.
Their posts sound like datebooks filled with notations of visits and words uttered by their H's. And they do not realize that they've turned both their H's and their desire for a restored marriage into idolatry.
You truly understood that until you put your 100% trust in God -- and as you said...knew to a certainty that you would be just fine with or without the restoration...
And most importantly LIVED your life that way -- that the restoration could not and would not happen.
You not only stood for your marriage -- you lived your faith.
I think maybe Dawn has not read BrandNewDay's story. I may not post much at all, but she is at the top of my list as far as inspiration goes.
BND came a long long way and still gives back when others have moved on. I am so thankful that I have been able to gain insight from her threads.
I agree with you Summer.
I remember reading something BND wrote awhile back about praying for our spouse's salvation and relationship with God is most important and everything else falls into place. I have read that before and BND post was confirmation.
My mom always used to say that no woman has more than twenty years of cooking in her, and that was a few years ago for me, but I may have burned out early!