Searching for me again

[ACJ]

MWG and Andabelle you may both be right. My personal opinion is that all of this is about money. He thinks if S16 stays with me on a regular basis he will have to start paying maintenance again. If he D13 to live with him I will have to sell the house. Money is his only motivator!

When H brought D13 and S16 home last night he actually came to the door with them. He wanted to speak to me in private but wouldn't come in the house! So our 'private' convo had to be out on our drive. He wanted me to give him reassurance that I wouldn't encourage/invite S16 to stay the night again during the week! I told him I could not and would not give that assurance as S16 was old enough to make his own decisions about when he wanted to spend time with me. He said the only time S16 has not done his homework since he started college last week was when he came to stay with me. I reminded him that I hadn't picked S16 up until at least 7.45 and so H should've made sure he had done his homework whilst still at his flat. He said S16 had promised him he would do it at my house. I told him in that case he should have told me of this arrangement so that I could make sure it was upheld.

S16 was furious that he H wanted to exclude him from this convo and eventually came out. D13 told her dad that I had never stopped them seeing him and he shouldn't stop them seeing me. H told S16 that he could spend all weekend with me if he wanted but as S16 pointed out he works all weekend and so that would mean we would never see each other.

Things were getting heated and so I just said 'S16 your dad clearly doesn't want you to see me at all. Just come inside and I will sort this on your behalf at a more appropriate and time and not in the street'. H was livid. He told me (in front of the children) that I was a liar and that I would live to regret what I had just said. Then he flounced off. I was happy with my conduct.

Five mins later S16 got a call from H (and he spoke to D13 as well) apologising for losing his temper. He then phoned again another 5 mins later saying that he shouldn't have called me a liar in front of them and that he should've kept it to himself. S16 told him in no uncertain terms that either way he would see me when he wanted to.

S16 did go out to see his friends. He rarely sees them now that he lives with H. He was home earlier than I stipulated. We spent the rest of the evening having a cuddle (something we haven't done since he was about 8) and just chatting about college and about how he feels affected by the D process. It was a good calm chat. I feel my son will eventually come home (something I thought I would never feel), it will be a while but I am happy to wait while he processess information and life for himself.

Tomorrow is the dreaded meeting between me, H and the Ls. He let slip last night that he intends to talk about custody issues as well as money so i have phoned my L to give her the heads up. I've bought a very sexy new suit (which will also double up for another occasion I have on 8th Oct). I am calm. I know I will come out of this with my head held high. I don't think I can say the same for H.