I'm going to write on my own thread just for the heck of it.
My babies are growing up. I will soon have a 17 year old and a 15 year old...and a step 15 year old and 12 year old. My oldest will graduate in 2010. It's just unbelievable. My kids have spent about 12 of those years with divorced parents. It didn't seem that long ago that they were just little guys, coming over for visitation. Those were hard days. I hope I've done right by my kids. I've tried making this process not seem weird. I've tried making it seem like they have two homes and it isn't visitation so much as time when I can spend parenting. I remember it was always important to me that my dad came to my sporting events, or whatever was going on. I realize now that it's important for me as well...I don't want to miss any of their life that I can share in.
I haven't been the kind of parent that has big deep talks with them...my parents weren't that way either. We've never sat down and had a heart to heart about how they feel about any of this. I don't know if they are scarred. They seem well adjusted. They both have lots of friends, they enjoy inviting their friends over (so I guess they aren't too embarrassed of dad), they still ask me to do stuff with them. They do well in school. They are active in their sports. Have typical boy interests. So, is it enough? Or will they have roadblocks in relationships? Is it bad parenting not to explore their feelings about this, 12 years after a whirlwind divorce?
Anyway, that was just idle musing I guess. And maybe fear. What if someday they say, "I thought you were a crappy dad...for x,y, and z. Why didn't we talk through this stuff?"
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
