First of all you are bringing up D to a guy that doesn't have his head straight. Why would you do that? I can just hear your h going here we go again. You are trying to force an issue when you don't need to. Bringing up someone else when you don't need to.
I did all of this FG. Got me nowhere. What I did was step back and focused on me. Don't read anything into any of what he says.
I would suggest you focus on love and support, kindness, no R talk, don't push him away. That is what I did FG and look at my h now.
This takes time lots of it. Change your approach today. Your h doesn't know if he sees himself in the M. Change that perspective for him. He must see you in the positive way consistently.
I don't know how else to drive this point home for you. Step away, but all contact should be smiles, positives, encouragement, helpful, appreciative, respectful. Keep that in mind.
My guess if you would apply those principles month after month you would see better results.
It's very positive. Your h is NOT saying he is done or running to get a D. Don't give him a reason to do that.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
HUGS FG I just would love to see your h back home. I just hurt inside for all the pain and suffering going on, but I do know that the human species responds very well to positive reinforcement, appreciation and respect!
FG you can do this! Think of your h as an experiment. Give him one part love, one part respect, one part appreciation, one part admiration, shake it all up and see what concoction starts to brew!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Well I will caution you it's very emotional since we are in this separation state. I had to hold back a bit since I went with h or I could have found myself sobbing like a baby.
It's worth it. You may get another perspective on the standing or even your m in general.
I am hearing reviews online that for some m's are being reconciled.
Would that be awesome if this movie has that kind of affect on m's and R's.
Never give up hope!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I'm hoping to go on Saturday. I forgot to ask H last night if he can come over a couple hours earlier on Sat for D, but I'll ask him when I talk to him again.
Here's last night's scoop: H dropped D off and I was outside with the dog and watering the flowers. He stayed outside and talked some. Basic things first...what D ate, he told me what they did, yadda yadda yadda. He told me that he didn't like his old C because he would talk down to him. He told me the convo this guy had with him and I'm surprised that this guy's a C! He was very rude to H and I'm glad H told him straight out why he wouldn't be coming back. Then the C was confused as to why H would say that. So anyway, I'm very proud of him for finding another C right away. H even joked saying "I wanted to get in again right away because, you know, I sometimes have an issue with putting things off" I joked back saying "Noooooo, for real?!" We laughed and it was good. So his new appt is tonight and he told me he'd call me afterwards to let me know what he thought of this guy. So we'll see. I'm not counting on him calling though since this C has his 1st appts for 1 1/2 hours and H's appt is at 7:30. I'm thinking H will think it's too late to call. OH! And, H told me that he's planning on moving back to his parents house within a month! Wow! That'll be good (hopefully) since he'll be 3 blocks away from me and D then. Although, I don't know how living with his parents will help since they're the ones that told him what a failure of a person he is for having to file for bankruptcy. Jerks. Maybe that will push him back to me even faster then though. Heehee!
Okay, so that was alot of babbling. Have a good day!
