Okay - stop right now. Too many women here have made the mistake of being too generous to the WAS in the divorce settlement, out of pity and/or hopes of reconciliation, and lived to regret it bitterly in the future.
Most states have formulas for child support and alimony. They almost never leave the man in worse shape than the custodial mother. If he's having to live in a camper, it's because he's not managing his money well, spending it all on dates or drugs or eating out.
If you qualify for alimony in your state, request it. If you want to trade that for something else (like equity in the house)make a careful financial assessment. YOU are likely to be left with the financial responsibility for your kids, make sure you get the best deal possible so you can take care of them. Your H is likely to flame out at some point, and then you might not be able to get money from him; do whatever it takes to get in a financially stable place where you can raise your kids.
This is BUSINESS, and needs to be treated like business - no emotion. If you gave up significant opportunities for career advancement to raise your kids, alimony is a way to compensate you for that. If you'd never had kids and devoted yourself to your career, wouldn't you be making a lot more than you are now? Don't discount the value of what you gave up to be a mom.
Obviously, if both parents worked and had full-time daycare and household chores were split 50:50 and there were no pregnancy complications or effects on your employment, this would be different. I just don't know many couples where this description applies. In most cases, even working moms have somewhat "mommy-tracked" their careers in order to make things work during those years of childbearing and early childrearing, and there's almost always a financial toll to that.
