Jayce's thread

[Jayce]

DQ, sorry about the hijacking. I replied to Bagheera in, probably, too much detail. I just don't get how a LD guy thinks. I know about psych stuff & performance anxiety stuff and anger toward partner stuff. Read a ton of books in last couple months. Sorted through causes, behaviors, etc. but cant' figure out, in absence of psych problems, and physical reasons, what is going thru their heads, if anything? If you say you love your wife, why wouldn't you make some effort to help her understand your feelings and reach a compromise about frequency and doing the initiating some of the time? Why would you leave her kinda spinning in the wind? Why would you continue to cause hurt rather than try not to?

SSW describes me. SSM describes us. SSM tells the LD partner they really need to make some changes and address the problem. He'll neve know. He won't read the books.

We've both been married before. H for less than 2 yrs when she had affair & they divorced. I'm guessing he's always been LD. My ex was a typical sex maniac early on until he became obsessed with a hobby that took up all his time and attention. He wasn't even involved with the kids after awhile. Found something more interesting than family, wife...even quit smoking to save $$ for the hobby. 5 yrs of that...the last 2 I gave up & quit trying to get thru to him. When I told him I wanted out, he was thunderstruck. Thought we were getting along better cuz of no fights for 2 yrs. Duuuuuhhhhhh. Just like in the books. But that time I knew what was wrong. This time..... Maybe its my early cultural exposure (sarcasm) the only LD problems I ever heard were from guys griping about their wives. I believed guys liked wives who enjoyed an active sex life. Silly me.