New Thread-Husband Moved in With OW(T2L)

[Trying2live]

Hi guys sorry so quiet. Soooooo, ya wanna hear my retarded weekend. Yup messed up-Hee hee. Oh well. Ok in a minute.

So I agree with calling the police and at least having a record of all this weird behavior with OW Husband. Not cool at all. You could tell him face to face-in a friendly way of course-that your a bit uncomfortable with the interactions. can't hurt, maybe he's unaware of the inappropriateness of it all-I know seems lame that he wouldn't know but who knows maybe .
I agree with the moving out thing maybe being a benefit to you. Like I told you that actually seeing my H weekend before last totally screwed me up-cried half half that week. Hard seeing the man who's done this and yet you still love them. But it made me realize that for now, seeing him is not for the best. He's not the man I knew anyways. But for now I'm going to have to get used to it as he plans to go to every game.

Sounds like everyone is doing great at GAL'ing. I go to a 3hour salsa class on Sunday. I am planning to return to the gym at least 3 days next week.
I can relate to the stress and sadness. I decided to cry when I need to but not too much. I'm going to gang bust in the thought stopping department. The bible says that our minds hate the things of God so I'm gonna try my best regardless of the outcome to stop all thoughts that do not promote well being and blessings to my life and family. yes it's very hard. But so is living with my mind dictating every minute of my life.

I've lost 10lbs since finding out, but I went from a size 7 to a 3 so I think I just need to firm up and actually its a good time to because every holiday season I put on weight. My H did comment at the start that I did get small.

So ya wanna hear my crash and burn guys (HA Ha aha ha ha aha a . Ok so I go on Saturday(yesterday) to son's 2nd game. I'm a bit disturbed because of last weeks game when he ran around with his shirt off-oh yeah did i mention he sent a 3rd pic of himself with out a shirt!!!!! I told my daughter thats it either you address or I will. so she did and hopefully he gets it or otherwise I'm gonna have to stop this..so MLC. Anyways so my son visits with him while Im standing there and he wants to give my son a football and I say oh you can play with the one I got you 2 months ago(I know bad). then all follow him to his car and he says well I'll just meet you there. Then I say why did you bring the whores car?(he doesnt have a personal vehicle). (I know really bad) Ok gets better. Then I say ok we have to go soon son because we have plans, and H say you always have plans. And we kinda mutter at each other and my son says what did he say mom and I say nothing he's being a butt hole. Then he says well I dont want this to be difficult and spout off what the heck do you mean it's already difficult then we drive off. Yuck hated the way I behave(although nothing compares to the vile angry disgusting lashing out that I have gotten from him. My Pastor saw one of his emails and said it disturbed him on how angry he was. Anyways I was so disappointed in my behavior I sent an email apology. Ok it gets worse. In my apology I say you know I can handle seeing you and being married to you I think I should move on can you give me money to file.
So out of all that he said he apologized for snapping at me at the game made some small talk about my son and said nothing about the money to file. I know I shouldn't have said it but man Uggg! One guys said to me this guys is waffling. He knows you will be there no matter what you need to stick it to him and shock him. I wasn't a controller. I apologized even if it wasn't my fault so I had no back bone. I just cowered to what ever his mood dictated. Anyways tomorrow is a new day. Start again. IT's a thought stopping GAL week....sorry for blabbing.

[hope3343]

{{{{{shout out to T2L}}}} you were missed. I was worried about you. So you did not have such a successful DB day. It is so hard sometimes to control ourselves. Loved the 180 about giving you money for D and he did not respond. It was said in anger instead of Dbing but still had a good effect. And you did the right thing texting him that you were sorry. We have to remember we are human. I have to do more of stop thinking process. It's true when my mind keeps going I just start to freak out. I am doing a count down in this house till he moves and then figure it out from there. I am just so angry he is doing this to our family. It's amazing they can walk away no matter how much they say they will be "involved".

The saddest part is my D15 says to me today, Mom looks like you are getting along with Daddy, I said to her No that is not true, Daddy is not happy, and she says I know everything will be ok, you are negative. How can we tell this kid that he is moving out next week. She thinks we are doing better. My heart is bleeding. She will be shocked. I just say she says the right words to him when he tells her. I keep praying God is working on him, because I have not been successful.

So both Jgrind and t2l are both skinny girls..Size 3! I have a weight problem and if any good out of this I am getting healthy.

Hey another question? Has anybody been asked out or dated? I can't imagine going out with anyone after being married 21 years. I have no desire to meet anyone. And being over 50 my dating pool would be pathetic. The only reason I am asking, a few weeks ago I was talking to a guy on the beach and he asked to walk with me and he was talking about his kids that he was missing and he was seperated. I was happy for the conversation since it is lonely many nights. It was just a nice chat and I told him I always love walking on the beach and it is my therapy. He said he would look for me down here. Yeah right. So I see his SUV on the beach over the weekend and I walk in the opposite direction. Just what I need -- not. Would have been nice to have H see me walking on the beach with someone. Give them some of their own medicine.

Well Marisol and twin hope will be back from the weekend. Hope they are doing well.

Our group will be my lifeline after Oct 1. I am scared to be here on my own without my family. Hope I can keep it together.

Take care.

[Trying2live]

Well its so funny when we all do bad it's at the same time and when we are all feeling sad its around the same time too.

So your daughter doesn't know he's moving out? My H told me, came home told the kids packed up and moved out. Came back after 3 days. Was home for 2 weeks and couldn't handle the withdrawal symptoms and went back. But the kids knew he was leaving right from the start. But oddly enough when he left the second time, the kids and I sat down and ate dinner together after mid-week church and we looked at each other and said you feel that? And well said yup, its peaceful. So although we missed him, the stress and anger of him here was worse.

I know it's going to be hard. But this could be what he needs to see that he has it good. Once my husband left I changed the locks. Sorry bud, your not coming and going as you please. Now you can book an appointment. I don't mean that in a mean way but they think that they can roll in and do what they want and we are just going to have to put our lives on hold and sit around and cry til they come to the house. No way!!!! Your H needs to now plan ahead to visit you and daughter. He needs to feel what divorce is really going to feel like. It needs to be a bit inconvenient and your the one who needs to make it this way. Its going to be super important now that you GAL. You have any classes set up? Once he moves out. Don't be overly available. Make it seem like you are getting out there and living. it will really shock their brains. Doesn't mean you have to be mean, but don't answer every call, let it go to voice mail. Plan your lunch at different times everyday so he cant catch you and wonder. Don't be home as much when he expects you to be home every evening. That's where and evening class at the gym or something new will help.

I wish you could tell your daughter. I know my daughter used to think I was negative but she'll see what the truth is. My daughter now sees and though she loves her dad she does see that he is retarded. It really would be good for you to go catch a movie or something that day he moves. He'll expect you to watch him pull away and cry.

Well about my weight it actually was an accident. I didnt mean to, but I do know lots of tricks and things to do to help lose weight if you ever need any info. Been battling weight my whole life. I've been on the thicker side my whole life this is the 1st time a size 3 but bear in mind I'm only 5ft tall. That's 5 even.

I do get on during the weekend but sometimes don't post as my 9 year old sometimes like to follow me and see what I'm doing. The kids do know I'm on the forum but don't want them to see all my frustrations. But would never drop off with out saying anything. Do any of you have face book?

[JGrind]

Hey girls! Looks like everyone is up late. Im working again tonight. These night shifts are killing me!

Hey T2L, welcome back! Hey it is hard not to be angry and sarcastic to these H behavior - Id be careful in front of the kids though. Remember, try to act respectfully - but be strong and no name -calling. It is our responsibility to set the proper example to our children since H's are not. Apology is important -you were brave to do it. But if Im going to offer an apology I would not take all the blame. I would say something like "Im sorry for the way WE behaved toward each other yesterday. It really seemed to bother S" .....or however you want to write it. Try apologizing in WEs, that way neither one is taking direct blame - you still have a backbone, respect, and dignity and he will be less defensive. Of course , this is easier said for me than done. Ive always been the one to worry how others think, always apologizing even if not my fault. So if anyone can offer some other suggestions Ill certainly be open to them - this is just mine.

You know, I agree if H's want this D so bad, they should foot the bill. My H has consulted with atty already and we discussed preliminaries. He already said he will pay the fees, and I certainly did not object. I consulted with an atty on Friday, but paid nothing for the consult. I dont plan on going further than a consult if I dont have to. It is true if both parties agree on provisions you only need one atty, but I want to have someone to go to if this gets in any way out of my or my kids favor. I actually plan to consult with at least one more atty to decide which one I "click" with - I got the name of another one from a friend recently.

Hope3343 - I feel your anxiety about your D's, but just make sure you and H sit and tell them together. I thought that was the way my H and I were going to tell our kids, but then he went ahead and told them without me present. He told them he "didnt love mom anymore, but he "cares" about her. He also told them "Im hurt cuz mom didnt show enugh love" AND told them about OW! So here I was, left with the kids AND the explaining to do.God love D15 for staying so positive. D14 is quite sullen these days but did say the other day "you and dad wont get divorced, mom". I just smiled and said "I like your thinking honey".

No, have not been asked out or dated. My 11y/o twins asked if I would get a boyfriend since daddy has a girlfriend now. I told them no, that was not something I am thinking of right now- Im still married to your daddy - we made a promise to each other" Of course then their gears started grinding and they looked at me inquizitively and asked "so does that mean daddy broke his promise?". Promises are so important at their age (you know - cross your heart hope to die - and the "pinky promise") so my reply really hit home to them. I didnt have to say anything more. But I did ask them if daddy and I do D and I met a nice man in the future, how would you feel about that. D14 immediately replied with "that would be fine mom - its different with you!" Twins said "that would be OK mommy- we want you to have a nice man - you deserve to". I wanted to just bawl.

But anyway, hope, youre smart not to allow yourself to be in that situation. We are too vulnerable right now, aching to feel loved. Two wrongs dont make a right. This is one reason why I am determined to avoid OW H's calls or any other form of contact. In no way am I physically attracted to him, but I have plenty other GIRLfriends I can talk to. I dont need any more drama than I already have. S11 told me that OW's S11 said his dad asked me out. WHAT! I have no idea where that came from . This guy is delusional. I will definitely stay away.

OK well the babies are getting hungry. I will check in later.


__________________________
me 36
H 38
S14 S11 D11
T 21yr
M 16yr Oct 17
IDLYA 6-18
H moved out 6-19
H confessed EA(now PA) and asked for D 7-4
anxiously waiting to be "served"

[hope3343]

Hi T2L and Jgrind, so good to hear from both of you. I have mixed feelings about not telling my Ds first. I think I should tell my D28 because I am scared she will "go off" on him. I would like to make it into a Dbing for her. She is very emotional and worried about me being here in Texas alone. I know she will not appreciate H leaving me here knowing I won't leave till D15 graduates.
D15 I am so so worried about since she keeps saying "everything will be fine I know it", I don't know how she will react. She might be angry at both of us. 15 is such a tough age. I have tried to soften the impact these past weeks saying that "daddy, is not happy", "Daddy, wants some time alone so he keeps going out" blah blah blah..What I really want to do is hit H in a head with a rock and bring him to his senses!

T2L, I always pictured you talk and mighty, now I have to picture you "little but mighty". 5 feet! Also any tricks/tips about weight, dieting, let me know. I will take any information that will help. I am not a "weight watcher" person and just sortva using portion control up to this point, but I have to "keep it going". I have a goal of how much I want to lose and stay focused till it happens.

On Sunday after, H asked me to go to sports bar to watch Giants game (my team) and Dolphins (his team), he drank 2 beers (remember he "used" to be an alcoholic), I never said a word or gave lecture. I left to give the girls a ride to soccer game, he met me there and I am sure he had one additional beer. After game he takes D out to eat and comes home and passes out for a couple of hours. I take my walk on the beach, I get home and he is "out", D says he went to CVS (already went once in the morning), he disappears for 1/2 hour to call the OW. I say nothing when he gets home and he falls back to sleep. I went to bed about 11 pm, he gets up and goes on computer to catch up on some work. I sent him a DB e-mail on Friday which said, "I noticed in the last few meetings that you and your team are getting the respect you deserve, I am happy for you" -- he opened it up at 12:30 am. He came to bed about 2 am, In the morning he told me he had much trouble going to sleep. I think the e-mail got to him and he was thinking about everything. (I hope) --
Today I was starting to freak out again and panic about H leaving, so at lunch I hauled my big butt out the door and went and signed up at the gym on base. So my plan is going 2/3 times a week during lunch so I don't sit and obsess where H/OW are during lunch, and H won't know where I am. And the added benefit I can see all the Military guys working out as eye candy to keep me motivated. LOL I need to be more unavailable during work, which is difficult since we go to at least 2 meetings a week together.

T2L, you actually changed the locks? I am going to ask for his key/garage door opener/house charge card when he leaves. If he fusses I will tell him that I need privacy also.

JGrind, you are right about using We instead of I in saying sorry. I think that is a brilliant suggestion. I agree in checking attys. I did let H know if we go the D route, I am hiring my own legal atty. I will not mediate. I want him to know that this will not be easy as he is being told it would be.

I want to thank all of you on this post for all the motivation we give each other. We keep talking about GAL and it does sink in and we do encourage each other. I don't know what I would do without our group...seriously. It helps me look at things with a different perspective. I am glad we can help each other when we have bad days. I still look forward to the good days. Keep the faith...

[Trying2live]

Hello there!
Just back from football practice with the lil guy. I guess he's not little just little to me.
Well friend prepare for Daughter to possibly be very upset. I hope that H is going to tell the kids with you there. I would ask if you both could do that together so you know what's being said to your D15.

My son during 3rd month of visit says to me, "mom I just know dad will come to his sense". I chose to tell him something like this. Son, that's great to have hope because it's better than hating but I want to be honest with you and tell you it doesn't look to good. I'm not sure that Dad is coming back but we're going to be ok no matter what dad's choice is. Then at the beginning of august when he moved in with OW my son said I prayed that dad would come home. I said again, son that's very sweet of you, you have a great heart and we should always pray for dad, but dad has moved in with her so it doesn't look to good but we're going to be ok. I think honesty is the best policy. Truth always prevails. Children respect truth and it comforts them. They see clearer that we do.
I'm so glad you are joining the gym. 3 days a week is great and it's somewhere to go and be unavailable. Be sure to do some resistance training(weights or weight machines) Lean muscle burns more fat in its resting state than fat does and also helps keep your bone density as we get older. And regardless what anyone says weight lifting will make you bigger is a huge myth. Muscle is small than fat. I've weight lifted since I was 16 and trust me you'll want to do it. There's your GAL gym tip of the day{{laughs}}.
As far as the dating thing. Its weird. You know there's like this pressure you feel and its not like from anyone. But just like you feel like you should move on and date. But I've made a pact with myself that I will not until I am fully healed and I feel fully confident secure and happy as a single. I would personally stay clear of the beach guy. I have friends who dated super fast after and I hear their stories and I think no thanks. Yeah sometimes I feel lonely but slowly I am starting to adore the quiet time at home. I'm using it to create a family website. Its fun.
I also wanted to share this with you. It seems like almost 70-80% or higher of individuals going through what we are going through has the alcohol issue involved in it. So my husband says this to me after revealing. He said I had to drink more to kill the guilt and more the drank the less I felt for you and the more I felt for her. So that's why the drinking has probably started.
And....since you are in a fault state-WORK THE SYSTEM GIRL!!! Legal stress kills the magic of the fantasy land they live in.
If you are to overly nice he's going to cake eat for a while. Its a term someone told me when they don't commit to anything because they know your going to be sitting there. Remember he needs and accurate picture of D. Oh heck yeah I changed the locks. Hey sorry bud you chose to vacate the family. I refuse to have him come in and out as he pleases I have a life(or at least I'm getting one hee hee). IF we were divorced he surely would not have a key nor would any other spouse who did the same. He must schedule around you as do all divorced people. I re-coded the garage door opener. The directions are on the actual machine hanging up that opens the door. Its pretty easy. Yes my husband was mad and I made no excuse and gave no explanations. He said my key and opener doesn't work and I said yeah I had the locks changed and walked away.

If you need someone to talk to on that day I can email you my phone number. I will be watching for you to post that day. Just know that it may be hard but it may be easier in some ways. I don't know how you guys do it with your spouses around. I am so glad I don't see him. I can concentrate on getting stronger myself.

Jgrind I like the joint apology thing, gonna do that for sure next time. I'm just so used to always apologizing I'll take responsibility for the whole world.

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.

Twin hope how are you?

Marisol hope you are doing well. If we get to 100 It will shut us out and I'll restart another thread. Just giving everyone a heads up. Somewhere in the subject will be (T2L)....Take care friends. Tomorrow is a new day with new mercies for us all.

[hope3343]

Hey T2L, good to hear from you. I got a tear in my eye when you said you would call me. I REALLY appreciate it. You guys are the BEST. And I am not kidding.

Too bad we don't know each other names. LOL. When I send you an e-mail I will give name/phone.

Love the idea of Face book or my space. Let me know. Would be great to link up that way also. Then we can see how beautiful we all look with our before and after pictures. We can also post our H's to beware...lol

Would like to continue threads though because look at all the views that our thread is getting so I think we are helping others also..and isn't that what it is all about!

Well last night I called D28 and told her what is going on. I did not want H to blind side her. I told her don't be angry...she said "Mom I am angry, H moves you across the country with my sister 2 years ago and now he wants to leave you there with nobody. I know you won't leave because you want D to finish school so what sacrifice is he making." The bottom line it will give her time to prepare what she wants to say. The unbelievalbe part is she says -- you know he must be having an A. I said what makes you say that? And she said he would never leave unless someone else is involved. I asked her who do you think it would be -- and she said I bet it was that women from work with the big boobs he used to talk about. he said the men at work were always hitting on her and he had to talk to them and felt sorry for her. Blew me away!!!! that is who it is... And she doesn't live here and figured it out. How stupid was I?? Duh.

Then here is some advice for all of us. My D28 said you know it won't last with OW. And she said Mom remember when I was the OW?

When she was 22 she met a guy at the gym who asked her out. He was newly separated (and she found out later he and wife were still together for the first 3 weeks of my daughter going out with him). He was 31, 2 kids (8 and 11). I told her all the red flags were there and she would not listen. He treated her good, the wife was a b--tch, he introduced her to his kids - his son 8 was having a difficult time while his daughter liked my daughter. D and boyfriend were in love, -- wife, kids moved out of house and moved a few towns over to move closer to mother. My daughter started living at boyfriend's house part time. She was cleaning, cooking, doing the domestic bliss stuff. Then about 6 months into the relationship (hmmm), she said he changes - - he starts drinking heavily, some recreational drugs, kids are giving him problems, guilt, wife giving him problems (wife lost 40 pounds), this goes on for some time, well the bottom line is he breaks up with her after almost 11 months (waffles a few times) after almost 11 months and after I love you, want to marry you, blah blah -- Guess where he goes -- back to his wife!!! He sold the house, and the family started new in Florida! How could I not see the coorelation with my situation. So we have the perspective of an OW. Very interesting. I need to talk to her more about it and what changes to look for as OW.

Also DB day for me yesterday. H had flag football and I went grocery shopping (fun), go home me and D15 are having sushi and H calls at 6:30 and says what is going on at home. I said me and D are hanging out. He "asks" can I go watch the Jets game? I said why are you asking...then said as sweet as could be -- go and have fun...dead silence. So he starts to babble, I will call D during half time and come home right after the game. I said take care I will tell D. Well he calls D but she has her phone on silence (I don't know why she did that but I think she did not want to talk to him if he is drinking). Then H calls house phone at 10:20 saying D had phone shut off but he was on his way home. I told H that D was in bed. He was home by 10:30 and I could tell he was drinking, but talked to me for 1/2 hour about game, very animated -- had good conversation. I noticed that he was watching me not sure how to take that I was not nagging him and in good mood. Definitely confusion. Then to not get into any other unhappy discussion, I said well I am going to sleep, he says he is staying up a little bit. He was up to past 2 am again. Guilt catching up? I felt empowered. Of course I am waiting for "the conversation" to take place this week. Then this morning D15 comes in lays on the bed with us. Tells us both she loves us -- kiss hugs before she goes to school and I could see H almost tearing up. These are the things he will miss with scheduled visits.
Today I will count my blessings -- I will have my Ds support, I will have my house, I will have my dog. -- he gets 500 sq ft. 1 bedroom without us.

Hope marisol and twin hope are back on line. Need to catch up. take care

[Trying2live]

Well, folks, Happy 5 months to me. Today is exactly 5 months to the day that I found out. I've made it 5 months, I don't if I should be happy or sad.{{laughs}}. By the way my name is Lea (sounds like Leah or Lia).

I'm really glad, you talked with your daughter and her story really helped me. I think you should go ahead and tell her yeah it's another woman and it's her. Yes get more tips from her and more more more info!

For a few days this week I've really been contemplating just quitting and filing-at least for separation. I even told him in my apology email last week to give me $3000 so I can go file that I cant take it anymore. Do you know he's responded to everything else but not that?!?!?! What should I don about that? I wonder is it because you don't want to get taken to the cleaners, is it you want your cake and to eat it too, or is it you don't want to lose me or ALL of the above? Although he has not mentioned not a single thing of wanting this marriage the entire 5 months. Nothing but blame me be angry and say I'm annoying. Which I don't understand as I do not reach out in anyway. Just respond. Some days I just want say forget you, I don't deserve this.

I don't know. But ya know funny thing. After the last Saturday where I lost my composure, he has actually apologize for his part and is sending me more emails. Mostly about the kids and finances but not horribly mean. Because I have been a stay at home mom and wife straight out of high school(H is my 8th grade boyfriend) I have no schooling or work history. so financially I'm kinda screwed. But I am working on trying to remedy this, by starting my own business. Anyways, he got demoted through this whole thing and his pay is almost cut in half. He said he is trying as hard as he can and if he gets anymore money he will give it to me. He's on a commission 100%. And he also told me to go ahead an take the salsa boot camp I wanted to go to this weekend which technically we can afford even though its only 30$. But at this point it's not going to matter. I don't know why all the small talk. I'm kinda like ick! He just responded today, think I'll wait a few days to email him back.

I'm liking the GAL and the confusion on your H when you don't accept his invitations. Yessss! He's wondering. This seems like its really working with him. Every time you have done this he reacts the same way. He's got to be wondering why you don't jump at the opportunity, why you are joining the gym etc. He's going to start to see that you are going to live your life and he better live it with you.


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I actually got a call from a lady in New York who is on another forum, who was going through almost the same thing and we wanted to share and talk. It helps.
So go pick your daughters brain for all of us!!! had a friend who was an OW too. She said the H broke it off with her then came back and they were together for 6 months. After 6 months my friend who was the OW decided if he can do it to his wife he's probably going to do it to me and broke up with him. I know since these relationships are founded on deception they can only reap deception.

[hope3343]

Oprah has a list of top relation issues. Here is #4...

Q. He's married, but he says he's not happy and it's ending. I should stay away, right?

A. Run as though you're fleeing a burning house. Which, in fact, you are.

"He's already showing you he hasn't put enough distance between himself and his problematic relationship," says Young. "If you get involved, he's going to subject you to all his issues, and you're going to be a wonderful dumping ground."

[twinhope]

Hello Everyone! Happy Belated Birthday to Hope and Marisol. I have felt incomplete without being able to post. I still have a lot of catching up to do but with what I have read it looks like you all are doing ok. I apologize if I missed something. I still have to keep reading!

Well it has been a crazy week for me! With the funeral, wedding, and starting a new job on Monday! As I said before when it rains it pours. The funeral was the first time I had been to my hometown without my H in 14 years. It was a sad event anyway but it was tough for me on that end as well. The wedding was another sad event. My H was talking to me and our friends about our wedding. So insensitive. I really think he is crazy! My friend talked to him while I was gone and clued him in that everyone knows about his OW and they have all seen her myspace page. She told him that there is no way in the world that their relationship is going to last b/c it is built on deception and lies. He tried to justify by saying what was I suppose to do, wait until she realized that what she did to our relationship. I tell you this crap is getting old and yes I think you should have waited, 14yrs vs. a 21yr old whore you have known for 5mos. That makes so much sense.

Well he did say to some of our friends before the wedding that he was glad that I realized what went wrong in our relationship and said that if we can be friends then maybe that would create an environment for us to get back together. I don't know what to think of this! He told me today on the phone that he hates his job(this is the 6th job in 7yrs and his first one he was at for 3yrs.) This is why I thought he was having depression and a MLC. He made the comment on wanting to sell real estate and maybe taking classes on the weekends he did not have our girls. He also said that if he doesn't do something now then he never will. He said he is not getting any younger. I wouldn't mind him changing jobs b/c his OW works there. I wonder if things are not going well and that is why he wants to leave!

Well do you guys think my H is going through a MLC? After the posts I have read, I think yes but he is only 30. I have been told that there is such thing as a 30yr. old crisis. All I know is that my H is an alien if I had ever seen! Hope you all are staying strong!