New Thread-Husband Moved in With OW(T2L)

[hope3343]

Hey T2L, good to hear from you. I got a tear in my eye when you said you would call me. I REALLY appreciate it. You guys are the BEST. And I am not kidding.

Too bad we don't know each other names. LOL. When I send you an e-mail I will give name/phone.

Love the idea of Face book or my space. Let me know. Would be great to link up that way also. Then we can see how beautiful we all look with our before and after pictures. We can also post our H's to beware...lol

Would like to continue threads though because look at all the views that our thread is getting so I think we are helping others also..and isn't that what it is all about!

Well last night I called D28 and told her what is going on. I did not want H to blind side her. I told her don't be angry...she said "Mom I am angry, H moves you across the country with my sister 2 years ago and now he wants to leave you there with nobody. I know you won't leave because you want D to finish school so what sacrifice is he making." The bottom line it will give her time to prepare what she wants to say. The unbelievalbe part is she says -- you know he must be having an A. I said what makes you say that? And she said he would never leave unless someone else is involved. I asked her who do you think it would be -- and she said I bet it was that women from work with the big boobs he used to talk about. he said the men at work were always hitting on her and he had to talk to them and felt sorry for her. Blew me away!!!! that is who it is... And she doesn't live here and figured it out. How stupid was I?? Duh.

Then here is some advice for all of us. My D28 said you know it won't last with OW. And she said Mom remember when I was the OW?

When she was 22 she met a guy at the gym who asked her out. He was newly separated (and she found out later he and wife were still together for the first 3 weeks of my daughter going out with him). He was 31, 2 kids (8 and 11). I told her all the red flags were there and she would not listen. He treated her good, the wife was a b--tch, he introduced her to his kids - his son 8 was having a difficult time while his daughter liked my daughter. D and boyfriend were in love, -- wife, kids moved out of house and moved a few towns over to move closer to mother. My daughter started living at boyfriend's house part time. She was cleaning, cooking, doing the domestic bliss stuff. Then about 6 months into the relationship (hmmm), she said he changes - - he starts drinking heavily, some recreational drugs, kids are giving him problems, guilt, wife giving him problems (wife lost 40 pounds), this goes on for some time, well the bottom line is he breaks up with her after almost 11 months (waffles a few times) after almost 11 months and after I love you, want to marry you, blah blah -- Guess where he goes -- back to his wife!!! He sold the house, and the family started new in Florida! How could I not see the coorelation with my situation. So we have the perspective of an OW. Very interesting. I need to talk to her more about it and what changes to look for as OW.

Also DB day for me yesterday. H had flag football and I went grocery shopping (fun), go home me and D15 are having sushi and H calls at 6:30 and says what is going on at home. I said me and D are hanging out. He "asks" can I go watch the Jets game? I said why are you asking...then said as sweet as could be -- go and have fun...dead silence. So he starts to babble, I will call D during half time and come home right after the game. I said take care I will tell D. Well he calls D but she has her phone on silence (I don't know why she did that but I think she did not want to talk to him if he is drinking). Then H calls house phone at 10:20 saying D had phone shut off but he was on his way home. I told H that D was in bed. He was home by 10:30 and I could tell he was drinking, but talked to me for 1/2 hour about game, very animated -- had good conversation. I noticed that he was watching me not sure how to take that I was not nagging him and in good mood. Definitely confusion. Then to not get into any other unhappy discussion, I said well I am going to sleep, he says he is staying up a little bit. He was up to past 2 am again. Guilt catching up? I felt empowered. Of course I am waiting for "the conversation" to take place this week. Then this morning D15 comes in lays on the bed with us. Tells us both she loves us -- kiss hugs before she goes to school and I could see H almost tearing up. These are the things he will miss with scheduled visits.
Today I will count my blessings -- I will have my Ds support, I will have my house, I will have my dog. -- he gets 500 sq ft. 1 bedroom without us.

Hope marisol and twin hope are back on line. Need to catch up. take care