I know that it can be good but it can also be really really bad. A lot of the reason we ended up here is because of the 6 months we spent apart last year. I thought it would make us stronger then too but all it did was rip us apart and we never pulled it back together again when he got home. A month would obviously be a different story but the military is so screwed up and I am highly uncomfortable with them taking him away for an undetermined amount of time. When he was gone last year it was supposed to be 4 months and it turned into 6. I understand why he wants to go, he would be making money and getting back into shape so he can pass his test and get his enlistment bonuses and finally start his career with the army. It would be good FOR HIM. It has nothing to do with me and that is why I worry. Life on an army base is not good for families. All th guys are young and want to go out and party, drink, and get laid. It's not healthy. I am terrified of this influence on him, especially when things are so rocky right now between us. At least when he was gone before it was a little easier to trust him because we were (most of the time) happy with each other and counting down the days to be back together again.
Sigh.
I am going to need to do a lot more praying and a lot of good DB between now and the time he leaves. He said he wants to get this army thing sorted out before he can focus on us again. I wanted to yell and scream but instead I said "I respect that and will try 100% to give you the space you want and need" so I do not know when we will see each other. I made it clear that is what I want but it is up to him.
I still think the conversation went well. It was by no means an easy conversation to have but I validated and was very respectful but at the same time shared my concerns and desires. Mostly because he asked me several times what I want right now. So he knows, now I sit back and wait to see if he is going to give me what I want.
The conversation ended well. I said we should not wait a week to talk to each other again with a smiley face and he said ok, lol. Then we said goodnight.
I'm going to try and focus on me more and keep it dim on my end of this. It is very very clear that he wants/needs to work out things for himself and that talking to him right now will not do me much good because I am not included in the things going on in his life. But at least contact has been reestablished and I know that he is not giving up on us. All I can really do is show that I can give space and be supportive and not clingy. Tall order.
Today I have a trillion things to do. I am still feeling scared and bummed out so we will see how much I actually get done.
One thing I am going to do for sure though is call and get that IC appointment set up. I did not ask my hubby about that last night. I think that would have been too much at this point but maybe a topic to bring up down the road a little ways, see how things go the next week or so.
Thanks for your comments guys, you really do keep me going!
