Looking for some more patience!

[shewholurks]

Kissak,

You don't have to provide him with an explanation whatsoever. Stop discussing it with him and refer him to your Lawyer. He keeps at you because he is hoping you will feel sorry for him and back down. Don't. If you feel that strongly about the date then close the discussion.

~ swl

[kissak]

My H told me that once Im on the ins policy in January, I will have it all year even if we divorce in April....is that right?

I thought I was told that I have to be taken off the policy as soon as we are divorced.

Does anyone know?

Now he is ticked at me and saying "fine, have it your way".

You know I could be so ugly about all of this with him and drag him through the mud on the alimony and affair stuff that he is denying, but the lawyer told me that I could...but Im not! Why is he being so difficult? He is getting his way with the divorce, why not give me my way on the date?

Hes being a jerk today about it.

[mishka422]

I don't know about the laws in NC but in GA the insurance coverage stops for the spouse on the last day of the month that the D is finalized. You can continue coverage under Cobra for up to 18 months at a HUGE cost. In my case it would be $465 a month!

[kissak]

Thanks swl....I just did that. I told him I was not changing the date and I told him to leave me alone. He was getting what he wanted in the end. I do not feel sorry for him and he thinks he has control over my decisions and he doesnt!

I am however angry at him for saying "fine, have it your way".

None of this is what I want and for him to say that, it just ticks me off!!!

[Maya44]

Try to ignore those comments. I think that's him trying to get under your skin.

[Cinderellaman]

(((((((((((Kissak))))))))))))

Sounds like you too are still very much on the rollercoaster !

I am so sorry !!!!!! I wish for you that you find peace and tranquility, and that love will find you and lift your heart !

God bless you ! xxx

[kissak]

Thank You Cinders....I feel like I am still on that rollercoaster. Will it ever stop?

I tried as hard as ever to not answer my H's calls yesterday, but last night when I went to open my cellphone, he called at the same time. I almost shut my phone, but then I would have been fussed at for hanging up on him, so I said hello.

He apologized to me for how he acted yesterday. He said he should have thought things through first. Then he goes on to say how he wants us to be more than just friends or parents together. Uh, well, what would that make us? Weird people? lol

I didnt talk to long. Just stated that I werent going to change my mind about the date on the papers. By law, I can and will have that date remain.

I almost think he is one of those that has to have a divorce to have closure. That it might be the only way he would ever come back. He doesnt want the same marriage and getting a divorce would make sure of that to him and in his mind.

But, I dont know what he is thinking. Dont need to anymore. He just aggravates me to death with this friend thing. I told him its almost impossible to be friends while going through this. He said, thats why we need to talk about it.

Whatever.

[Andabelle]

What does it mean that you're not "dragging him through the mud on the alimony stuff?" If you can get more than what's in the agreement, you should go for it. Not to be a b*tch, but because you and your D are gonna need it!

[Maya44]

Yep, you should get what you'll need to live nicely instead of at poverty level.

[kissak]

Im not interested in the alimony. My H would be out on the streets with no place to live if I took the rest of his paycheck. I care for my children, but they love their daddy and Im not going to hurt him that way. He has to have money to live so he can take care of them when he has them too! Trust me, I will be fine. I get very good child support. It helps a great deal. I think the simple fact that he is living in a camper goes to show that he isnt doing well financially either.

My H told me this morning that his dad isnt doing too good and his health is bad. My H and his step mom only get along because of his dad. I think if he loses his dad, he will lose more than he thinks. I think he may hit bottom over losing him when it comes to that.