Just a friendly text about the show we watch. He didn't see it. I told him about a funny part and told him it made me think of him. He said lol. We texted a little about what's going on with one another. After a few texts he asked if we are just pretending everything is ok. I said "Isn;t it? he said "is it?" I said it was just a bad day and I am over it. He said "what about not talking to me if I drove away" I said "I was angry. I don't really want that" He asked me what I did want. I said I missed him and just wanted to see him again. He said he is caught up in too much right now. Apparently he is trying to leave the state within the next few weeks to go back to AIT training for the army and hopes to be gone a month but we both know it could be a few weeks or a few months. There is really no telling. We are talking about future things now. I am trying to be respectful and am doing a good job considering all the "I don't know what I wants" being thrown my way right now.
The conversation is not going badly but at the same time he seems to think I don't need him in my life and that I do just fine without him around (exactly as I feared!)
It is not a backslide as a lot of good things are being talked about. However I feel sick to think he could be leaving soon. I don't think I can do this anymore. It's hard enough with him an hour away. I don't know what I would do if he moved across the country for an undetermined amount of time with no guarentee as to what will happen when he comes home again.
I'm just really sad now. Really really sad. This is more than I can deal with.
