I heard the same things...I haven't been happy for a long time...I haven't been happy for 10 years (we had a 9 year old son when he said this and wondered how that happened if he wasn't happy?) and finally it was he hadn't been happy for the entire marriage...I was to controlling...he always let me have my way to avoid an argument...and much more...yes, a lot of this was true when I looked at it from his point...I never meant to hurt him I just didn't know and now felt I was being punished for something I didn't even know I was doing...
I made my changes because I didn't like what I saw...I recognized that sometimes when I was trying to be helpful it would come across as controlling...I learned to ask questions instead of make comments...
These lessons are hard...but no matter how things turn out it makes us better...I know that was the hardest thing for me to see...that things could get better no matter what...
I wish you all the best...thank you so much for the kind words but I don't think I am any more special than anyone else here...we all want(ed) the same thing...to save our marriage and save ourself...I wish that for everyone although I know some will have to accept that they will be okay "no matter what"...and that means if their spouse doesn't return...I know I would be fine and happy today even if H didn't come home...I learned to be happy with myself...but I love him dearly and appreciate what I have now...never take it for granted...and even if things work out for you...continue to GAL...I think, women mostly, become very wrapped up in being a wife and mother and lose sight of the fact that we are a person...we need to feed and nuture "her" too...then we make much better mom's and wive's!
