I have told this story before but in light of what you are talking about it bears repeating...
I was training to be a bus driver when H left me...it through me for a loop...in class one day they were saying how they needed special needs bus drivers the most...I sat there and thought to myself "there is no way, I can't do that, it would make me sad, I couldn't handle it, etc."
Well, things did get worse before they got better...I was taking my behind the wheel bus driving test (which is given by the CHP) and was nervous...knowing I needed this job desperately...well it was a rainy day...I had never driven a bus in the rain...and the worst thing that could possibly happen did...during the test he took me down a strange road...then he had me stop and back up around a corner...a 45 foot bus is not easy back up and turn object...well I couldn't see very well out of my mirrors due to the rain...everyone told me once we started the test that I could not get out of my seat...I didn't look real good when we came in to see what was down the street he had me backing into but everything was one color and I thought I knew where I was in the road...then BAM!!!...I didn't know what I had hit...but I hit something...automatic failure...I drove back to the bus yard...and then broke down in tears...I had wrecked the bus by backing into a block pillar that was the same color as the ground!...The bus was my boss's bus to boot...how embarassing...then the CHP officer told me he had never had anyone get in a wreck during testing...GREAT! Well I was sunk...just knew I was not getting the job...that was confirmed a few days later...but there was still the option of being a bus aid...but that meant special needs for sure...I sucked it up and a few weeks later called and asked if I could at least have that job...the boss said yes...at least I had a job...I could always keep looking but I now I could take care of my kids and myself... I soon began to look at special kids differently...realizing how blessed I was but noticing that their parents came out day after a day with a smile on their face...happy for the day...their children would also be happy...sometimes it wasn't obvious but after you got to know each child you could tell...it made me realize how blessed I was...how much I had in my life to be thankful for...if these families can be happy so can I Eventually I asked for another chance to be a bus driver...suprisingly I got it...and I passed my test...you know what I chose?...Yep, I chose special needs routes...I love it... I enjoy the kids...and get to know them...and always keep in mind that I am so fortunate to know these special people in way that many outside of the family never will...
Sometimes it takes tragedy to make us realize we have it good...when I returned to become a driver I proudly walked into my boss's office and announced "I am back for the crash course!...Just kidding" He got the biggest laugh and said that more people needed my sense of humor and that he admired me for sticking in there instead of running away and never coming back!
Just my humble story of how I learned to appreciate my life...no matter how bad things seemed...they were still better then a lot of others!
