Aussie Girl - Patience might finally be paying off

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Essie!
Thanks for the reassurance, it feels sooo alien to not have him in my life or speak to him, or know how he is. But, I guess I have no choice. As for yoiur phone convo.. hmm.. that sucks. I think I feel he was being a little disresptful, maybe even a little childish. My first thought was.. ok, he's got past the initial teenage hump enough to come back to you, but he may not have done the WORK on himself, so perhaps hasnt actually grown up as such. Either that, or he is just being basically blokey.

I was a little confused by the phone convo though, is it present or past tense??

his mum had asked him about pornography, and he had told her that he was single and he was OK with it, and she had said be careful it can lead to an addiction.... he immediately came back to the conversation about porn and that he had told his mum that he was single and he can watch pron and sleep with random women.

I'm confused.. is this a current state of affairs she was asking about??? (and OMG , WTF is going on with him and his Mum !!??). I agree with you on the porn, not nice. Thats a tricky one. But on the sleeping with random woman bit? This is either super insensitive of him (probably) and he totally didnt realise that you would get upset, as you have been apart for a year, so his brain may not have joined you two back together in his head yet.. OR.. he is testing you. Or kind of putting up a boundary in a slightly crass way, maybe not even conciously. Its like.. ok, I stepped back into the R and things got serious as we went to bed together, but I'm gonna make like my options are still open and I have choices (even if in fact, he doesnt).

I dont know about going dark, or ignoring his calls.. is that what you always would do? How about actually talking to him?? Confronting this, gently? Ask him what he meant by it? If you two are close enough to be sleeping with one another again..maybe its safe to have this kind of R talk??

If you ignore him...isnt that storing up problems for the future? But..hey, you know best!! Better than me, thats for sure. Thanks for the tips and validation !
Ali xxx