I love what Forrest writes. He helps ME see your sitch even more clearly. Interesting that so much of what the two of us have to say seems synchronized.
Yes...as Forrest says, though..one has a stubby pencil. Can you guess which one?
Quote:
My question for you about this weekend...
Is this enough to feed your soul as you continue on through this rebuilding of a marriage?
Because, make no mistake, you are NOT busting a divorce anymore.
You are rebuilding a marriage.
Ala "The Six Million Dollar Man"...better, stronger, faster.
You know I want to believe that, but until I hear it from her, how can I. All I have to go on is a few words, her actions and the fact that she is not pushing to have me out of the house or has not left herself.
I know these are the things that you guys remind me all the time are the positives I am looking for, but will the commitment from her ever come, or do I continue the rebuild without her commitment...which is what I have been doing all along....make the assumption???
These are slips and backslides, these words I here from her once in a while...the hugs, kisses and affection that come during these wonderful days and evenings that we have. Then the slides back?...taking off and not telling me where she is going, the "me" and "I" instead of the "we" and "us" when there is talk of the future. The partying and ML in the evening and barely a kiss on the cheek when I leave for work in the morning??
Where is the consistency and the commitment from her? Yesterday when she said all that mattered was that we could enjoy the things we like together. Does she even remember saying it?
I am not being negative, and by no means am I overlooking what I have heard or seen from her. I am there....I feel it and I see it...there was something different about her for the last few weeks, and if I am to believe the process, I should understand that there will be a backing off at times.
Quote:
Are your changes for real? Do you feel them to your core, are they a part of every breath you take? Do you still feel the absolute anguish at how close you came to losing her? Is it vivid enough to make you run in the opposite direction from your old ways?
Yes, enough that reading those words brings tears to my eyes. I only wish I could be as certain as you when you say "how close I CAME to losing her".....I want to know that I have not lost her, and yes....still willing to "do work".
Quote:
Put away the neediness and the doubt. Continue to let loose the reigns of control that you used to exercise, which kept her bound in a life she did NOT want. Through your actions, show her each day how blessed you feel for still having her in your life. Continue to find great satisfaction in sharing HER interests, even when they don't coincide with yours.
