ImLin, thank you so much for your encouraging words. I really appreciated them. I dont remember, did your H have an OW during his MLC? What do you think was the turning point for him that made him want to come back?
Yes, he did have OW...although they never lived together...she was in another state and had 4 kids so she couldn't move...he visited her when he could but after about a year or so I think she got tired of waiting and found someone else...
I really worked on myself...for me, not him...he made the decision to move back to our town so he could be closer to our son...this created opportunities for us to go out and talk...I made sure I maintained my changes...became a good listener and a fun date...he was very stand offish...several months after he was back in town I asked him if he ever thought about "us" and he said he did...that he realized I had made changes and realized that he really needed to be with his family...but he still felt so broken...once when he was very drunk...actually the night he came home with me and pretty much began the process of coming home...he broke down and cried like I had never seen...he said he had always loved me (he didn't remember any of this the next morning)and he could never forgive himself for what he had done...and he could never expect me to forgive him...he went into a lot of painful things that night and I finally saw the root of his crisis...I encouraged him to come home...no pressure...no expectations...I also encouraged him to get help for his depression...he fought that for a time until I called 911 when he got drunk, really drunk (twice I did this)...the doctors and nurses talked to him and helped him see that he was not doing himself any good...he would always tell me he loved me if he was drunk...but never sober...in my heart I knew that drunk man still had love for me but it was buried under the severe depression...treatment for his depression was the turning point!
