Working on believing in miracles

[istherehope]

OK now I am confused again. He started chatting with me talking about when "he" is going to Mexico. I was supposed to go too, no mention of this now, like I am not in the equation. "He" is going to look at the calendar to see when he can go. I am REALLY mad. I guess I can't say anything now, and if things get better between now and then I can always ask to come later? This was a baptism for his cousin's baby and he was to be godfather. I kept my mouth shut and said what an honor it was to be named godfather.

Then he said "we need to start getting ahead" on our expenses that he couldn't believe we spent like $8K last year on who knows what, and I just said "lots of trips". Then suddenly he said "gotta go, see ya," and logged off. WTH??? I am SOOOOOO clueless once again. I know he is in class, but I am SOOO tired of him needing to be SO in control of every conversation and thing we do. Oh and he said he knows right now our finances are odd and extraordinary because of the school expenses, umm no, because we are maintaining 2 households, but I would not dare to mention that...Not sure if there is something he is mad about there? Not assuming anything, but if only he would see the very clear light about how things could be cheaper. At least this plays in my favor for coming home, the fact that we have no money and need to get ahead. And with the finances everything is "we".

The Mexico thing I guess was to be expected, and given that it's in January, I still have time to try and get in on the trip later. The we need to get ahead thing doesn't fit with his mentality about not being married, and he even said "sorry we are so poor right now." Yes he should be sorry...

OK rant over. Maybe I will not hear from him again tonight. I just have this feeling like there's a dam about to break (no play on DAM intended). Does anyone else ever have these feelings?

ITH