I am a mandated reporter for child abuse. Now, I know that your x didn't hit your kids...did he ever hit you? Has he ever hit them?
You might want to tell him that if you do hear him hitting them that the Department of Child Services will have to be called in.
This woman should not be subjecting herself to this abuse. And it is a terrible example for your kids to witness. They should never think that this is normal and acceptable behavior, and I think any judge would go right to supervised visits if they caught wind of ex's behavior. You are right, in that this is another example of his dangerous need to control - through money, sex, contact with friends and between you and your kids, etc.
Talk to an IC; you can even find someone at the kids' school. They can help you with this. So can a local women's shelter (they might even have a L who agrees on low or no-cost representation).
I am glad that you came back to post. You were missed.
