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Gypsy Offline OP
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Hey Kerry..

You can thank cookie for that line I slapped on my signature. I did it because I thought it sounded fun yet impossible. Seeing it daily builds confidence... Not that I'm the best catch around, but I chose my behavior from calm rather than fear.

Last night I got into a tizzy thinking of the conversation he and I had. Once again, I believed he took whatever I said for his advantage. Part of me believes he is raking me over the coals for his own agenda.

Maybe he's not. But my 'woe me, I cannot trust you because you always told the truth and turns out you've lied so I don't know what is the truth or lie from you anymore' makes sure I maintain a wary attitude.

Life will be much much better when it's not me versus him, or what he did to me. Life will be much better when it's about how I life, strive and try, sing, fall and flaw. When I'm just me not burdened with a burlap bag of tears.

*hugs*

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Gypsy Offline OP
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Here's something that's interesting by dogma in 2005:

Here is a post of mine I found from June of 04 and I think it bears repeating. I know I needed to read it AGAIN.



Greetings all,

I am a short timer here. My WAW moved out in Mar after the "bomb" hit in Dec. Is she coming back to me and three children to revive an M of 11 years?

I do not know and I do not care.

In my short tenure in this marathon of marital and spouse struggles and reading the bb, I've formed a few conclusions of my own I would like to share.

DISCLAIMER. These opinions in NO way represent Michele, the moderators, other posters, the bb, and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

1. There are NO magic answers. Sorry, all you newcomers who arrive seeking the magic potion to revive the spouse and marriage; there is NONE.

2. I will not repeat the standard DB methodology here. The odds are you have had it drilled into your head ad naseum. FOLLOW IT. If only for you own sanity.

3. The WAS does NOT give a darn about what you are doing, so quit worrying over what they are doing. You CANNOT control their actions, beliefs, thoughts, etc.

4. Quit pushing. Quit hoping something will happen NOW, TODAY. It will not, unless you keep pursuing, then you can almost guarantee the outcome and it will not be the one you seek.

5. Relax. Exercise. Walk. Run. Play a sport. Ride your bike. Chase your kids. Take ALL the energy you are wasting WORRYING over your spouses actions and how your actions affect the spouse and put it into something you control.

6. Find a new balance. When the spouse quit on the family and the relationship, the dynamic swung violently out of balance. Find a new center. Focus on you, the children, the dog, something besides the old dynamic.

7. The previous M or R is deceased. Quit digging it up and examining it and trying to breath life into the lifeless form. Start a new R, hopefully with your spouse. But the old R has to die or you will be right back where you are now.

8. Quit taking blame. You are 100% responsible for your 50% ONLY. You contributed to this, but you did not do this. The spouse is being selfish and cares ONLY about themselves. Remember that.

9. It is ok to be sad, angry, frustrated, bitter, confused, and all the other emotions churning around. Find a time or place and experience the emotion. Do not deny it, but do not let it control you. And do not let the spouse see it.

10. Be positive. Be upbeat. Again, if only for your own sanity. Fake yourself out. Self-fulfilling prophecy. This goes right to "act as if." You will feel better and it will become second nature.

11. You may not get your spouse back and guess what, you may reach a point where you may not want them back. You are in control of your R and your life now. ENJOY.


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Originally Posted By: Gypsy
...because I drank so much water...
I just realized I was thirsty. The water was very refreshing! It was very cold. Just the way I like it! 12oz in a very pretty disposable cup...


Originally Posted By: Gypsy
Patty melt
Tell me the details of how it tasted....
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
A few bites of coleslaw
Why only a few bites?
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
Two floppy pickle spears I waved
waved?? You didn't eat them??
Quote:
Splurge of ketchup
On the pickles??? \:\)

Quote:
Dessert..
PLEASE Give me the gory details!!!!
Quote:
great conversation with my daughter
Why was it great?
Quote:
You can be my cheerleader any time!
RA RA RA!!!!! Give me details so we can experience the lunch as Gypsy did....

*HUGS and smiles*


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Gypsy Offline OP
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Details??? I thought you said bullets, Ready!

After looking at open houses at a furious pace, pushing ourselves my daughter and I felt brain dead. She wanted food, didn't care where. Fast food is not my thing but I didn't want a restaurant either. We settled on a local dinner and were seated in an oversized booth. With the open house papers spread out we ordered are meal as we went over the homes we'd seen.

It took a while for the food to come but I was busy drinking the large glass of ice cold water. Her Shirley Temple must have had a ton of old grenadine because her straw kept coming up dripping red on the outside. For a moment I thought of the recent study done on ice cubes in restaurants. Since they don't often clean the ice maker, they've found the ice cubes can have as much bacteria as the water in your toilet bowl. With that thought I focused more on the literature than suspiciously eyeballing the ice cubes.

The food that arrived reflected the change in the economy. Gone were the oversized burgers. A petite size fit within the grilled bread with room to spare. The bacon was cooked to perfection, the swiss cheese divine. I love making a little pool of ketchup to dunk my patty melt.

My persistent fingers hollowed out a space so that each the french fries and burger could be dipped. I don't salt


Ohhhh this missive is being interrupted..

Just got news he fired his lawyer and has hired a more combative one. Sounds like things are going to get very ugly.

crap

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I need to try patty melts more often - you make it sound so good. I usually order a reuben in leu of a patty melt.

Get a load of this Reuben Beauty or this one!

If you ever want to have something really good and filling for lunch, try a Hawaiin Loco Moco!

Dont fret too much about the combative L. The first L my W had was an ambulance chaser, but she was also highly incompetent. The law firm actually returned some of the legal fees because they felt so bad of the job this rabid L did. She should have filed a response for my W and gotten me started on child support payments, but she only dinked around with a parenting plan which she never finished.

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oh man I love patty melts and you make them sound even better! lol
ok off to eat my cottage cheese and tomatoes! lol


Be Happy for this Moment,
This Moment is your Life


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Try and smother the cottage cheese in worcestershire sauce - oh so good!

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Gypsy Offline OP
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Kerry...

I'm always on a quest for the perfect nachos, best rueben and most incredible cosmopolitan.

The search for the nachos continues. I found the MOST incredible rueben at The Blue Dolphin Cafe at St. Armand's Circle in Lido Beach in Sarasota, Florida. The food there is absolutely amazing!

The best cosmo was made by a wonderful woman who was bartending at our club temporarily after Katrina. Incredible.. and I don't like those types of drinks. In my travels I'd always ask for the best cosmo they had telling them of my quest. No one ever beat her combo. She is now back in New Orleans, happily married and in the corporate world.

His new lawyer has a "Super Lawyer" rating like mine. Should be fun. But man oh man did it make me nervous.. skittish.. when I heard he changed lawyers. I'm thinking maybe his first lawyer became unavailable to encourage him to leave. The guy I married can be tough to wrangle.

*hugs*

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Gypsy Offline OP
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Hey KarenMarie..

I have a one dish, one fork breakfast thing. Crack an egg onto a microwave safe dessert plate. Add a heaping tablespoon of cottage cheese and mix it up together. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds to a minute. Remove and add slices of grape tomatoes to one half and flip it over making it look like an omelete. Voila...

Tasty with no fats, quick and easy.

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Gypsy, I am amazed at the grace in which you have handled yourself throughout this sitch. After reading your last few threads I feel like I am reading my life story as well. I believe we come to a place where we no longer can tolerate the pain or dishonesty, that we finaly know what it feels like to let go and focus on us. Like you, I have determined that I am the master of my happiness and no one else can be responsible for it. Thank you for being so beautiful, it is so insipring. And thank you for your support as well. You have found somethng wonderful in this journey...YOU.


Broken Hearted
------------------
Me - 36
H - 37
S - 8
Married - 1992
ILYNILWY - August 2007
Moved Out - March 2008
OW Revieled - May 28, 2008
Filed for D - July 2, 2008

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