We're never getting back together-How do you cope?

[native]

"W said again that she doesn't think we will ever get back together"

How long ago did she drop the bomb ?

My W announced in March that she wanted a seperation. I just got my first 'real' hug Sat. (Six months). If we end up working this thing out I anticipate another 6-10 mos. before she is willing to work on it.

THE HUG

W had been with D all day bc D was the flower girl at a friends wedding.

(I was planning to attend the wedding but her 'friend' felt uncomfortable with me being there. That hurt, bc I wanted to watch D be the flower girl. I don't give a damn about her friend who wrongly took a past situation personally.....There had been an incident at her son's b'day party when I was blowing off some steam about my W as I had just endured a royal abuse session bc W was having period. Friend was apparantly sympathetic....with my W. Told W about it later. W was so angry with me she broke a mirror.

I don't know what 'friend' said, but I felt she overreacted in her sharing of this incident to W. I thought she (the friend)would understand how difficult it is for H's when W is unreasonably irritable due to period. Apparantly I have it backwards. I should empathise with their pain at having to go through the period. )

Anyway, on Sat W called from the church in a panic @ 3:00. D was hungry and unhappy. I talked W down off the ledge and brought a snack for D. I left and @ 20 min. later W called back to say thanks and to reassure me she was not frustrated with me. ( remarkable !)

I came to the reception an hour after that to p/u D so W could enjoy the reception. As D ran to me, I kneeled down to catch her in my arms, like we usually do whenever she sees me again.

In the corner of my eye, I saw my W beaming with a huge smile. (Very remarkable ! She doesn't smile much.)

More amazing is that she came over to me and gave me a genuine hug. I could not believe it. I didn't prolong it for fear of her deciding I was being smothering and D and I left shortly after.
I think W was relieved to pass D on to me. (Dealing with our D is something that seems difficult for her sometimes. So maybe I was her rescuer in this situation.) Whatever the reason, I was glad to get the completely unexpected hug.

I've begun to make a few attempts at GAling. Some friends of mine and I are talking about going camping soon. Took D to mountains Sun, and we explored Linville Caverns and took a short hike/picnic which she loved.

I also look forward to selling two older vehicles and replacing them with one better one. (Without her input on which one to get, or waiting forever for her to offer her opinion.)

Not to mention, I have more time to devote to my buisness/carreer and monetarily things are looking better already.

Oh yeah, the house is generally cleaner now, and I've begun to address some of the repair items that she has been unhappy about but would never offer help with, or help me with D so I could actually have time do deal with them.

So there is a bright side to this bad situation.