Jeff, first of all, I'm a huge fan of John Mayer. His song In your atmosphere really hits me hard... The lyrics "I'd die if I saw you and I'd die if I didn't see you there." are so poignant.
For you though, I say feel all this emotion. If I am reading your post correctly, something inside you is telling you not to give up hope. Now that your anger has somewhat subsided, that subtle voice is back. Look, I might be crazy, but I've followed your posts because yours always seems to have hope. Your wife hasn't stopped all contact. She can't even say she doesn't love you anymore. Instead, this issue is all about her problems (and maybe some ways that you fell short too during the marriage). But there are signs of her emerging from her abyss. At the end of the day, you have to decide whether you want to welcome your prodigal home or show her the door permanently. The world will always give you the same answer but sometimes true happiness calls for taking heroic steps.
I'm not belittling your pain or frustration or confusion. I just want you to see that I'm actually jealous of your place in life. You have hope (albeit slim) and you still actually have a choice of which direction to take. It's not a done deal yet. Worse off WAW(M) have come back from the dead.
