Don't know what to say, except it seems to be true, even though I don't want it to be.
My parents never got along, yet they never divorced. They both trash-talked each other to me. I was an only child. My character was shaped by being a peace-maker and I never learned to express my emotions/feelings well. My father was financially irresponsible, unmotivated and unsuccessful. My mother was bitter and constantly complained about how he ruined her life. She asked him to leave several times and he never did. Once, when I was 13, my mother asked my permission to go on a vacation with her old boyfriend. When I told her I didn't want her to go, she threw a hysterical temper tantrum and brow beat me into saying, "OK mom, go on a vacation with another man, who isn't my father." I was closer to my mom emotionally than my dad. He never really mentored me or was a classic strong father figure I could be proud of. I was ashamed of him. I swore I would never be my father.
Let's fast forward to my life.
My wife doesn't respect me. She's cheated on me. My kids are closer to their mom. I haven't invested in my kids the way I should have. I've floundered in my career and life-direction. My wife has asked me to leave several times.
My wife was raised in a strict fundamentalist home. Her parents marriage may be loveless -- I'm not sure. She felt oppressed and put down by her father. She now tells me she chose me because it was her way of perpetuating the model of abuse she was used to from her dad. I've become her father, in her mind.
I wanted Jesus to break these generational sins in my children's lives.
