So, just curious - now that you're taking cooking classes and all, what do you do when you get home at the end of a long day? Do you reach for the ingredients from the specialty store, or do you just pull out the frozen cornmeal crust pizza? I bet you can guess what I'm guilty of.
I use to cook all the time once upon a time...use to try new recipes etc. But these past few years - between the D and work - I have been pulling out prepared foods 90% of the time - maybe even more...
And it is tough cooking for one. The plan now is to try all these new recipes and deliver the food to my neighbors and start throwing dinner parties again.
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I worked all day, but I don't feel like I accomplished anything. Seems like each step forward is two back - Jacob's Ladder.
I am going through a phase like that myself right now. I accomplished - nada zip last week. That is why I am making GAL such a priority to see if having weekends off will help motivate me to work during the week! I need a reason - something to look forward to - a carrot so to speak to motivate me to work.
A crumbling R and a D affected me - but I go through these phases even when there are no R troubles. Everyone does - especially people that push themselves too much. At least all my friends do.
You certainly fall into that category - full time work and school! You have two areas where you may possibly be procrastinating in! That is not easy - even when all is good in your life!
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Was curious whether your boundaries held against his carpet-bombing as I consider my own sitch and the days ahead.
I let The X back in with a clean slate after most of the bombs. I told him the past was forgiven but at my end I needed to see that it did not happen again. After a honeymoon period - the same issues arose over and over again accompanied with an escalation that eventually rose to a level that posed a risk to my personal safety.
After the final bomb - I told him there would be no consideration of reconciliation without MC with Michele. He knew me well enough to know that even though I circle a lot - there is a point of not return with me. He didn't contact me post legal D b/c he knew I was done.
Now even though I was done b/c I couldn't live with what my M had become. I still went through the pain of letting go what I had wanted my M to be - letting go of the hope that it would ever be what I had wanted it to be - and of course letting go of the life I had. I was fortunate that The X did not try to contact me post legal D. It made it easier for me.
In your case, I think you are doing the right thing. ew wanted the D and she has gotten the D. She has shown no indication that if you were to consider reconciliation post-D that she would change. You are now the walk away friend and she is now the left behind friend. I would keep not returning her phone calls and emails. And if she stops by your office - I would cut it short like you have been. It may not be a bad idea to look for a new job where you would not have to see her. It is time for you to take care of you.
It will hurt - but she has not changed... It will take time to let it all go. And for you to let go - you will have to keep repeating and reinforcing your boundaries until she gets it.
If she is like The X - she will shut down and be angry with you as you stop responding and move on. And you are going to have to get comfortable with the notion that she will blame you and the anger. The X just shuts down the past and starts over again. I was a little taken aback when after my M to him I realized that he had amputated 10 years of his life with his former LTR from his memory. He had been with her from when he was 16-26. All that was left was anger towards her. He had nothing postive to say about her.
This will get easier with time - especially as you rebuild your life. Right now you are in the void - between lives so to speak - this transition time is rough. That is why I think you need to be kind to yourself and go easy on yourself. I really recommend taking an incomplete on your classes if that option is available to you.
I use to cook all the time once upon a time...use to try new recipes etc. But these past few years - between the D and work - I have been pulling out prepared foods 90% of the time - maybe even more... 
I accomplished - nada zip last week. That is why I am making GAL such a priority to see if having weekends off will help motivate me to work during the week! I need a reason - something to look forward to - a carrot so to speak to motivate me to work.
