5 weeks remain til next chapter starts

[istherehope]

Hi JCJ,

I won't email him yet...For me this is a pretty big 180 that I am not even offering him information on our IM chats. I did not tell him a thing about what I did this weekend. Of course this may just make him believe his own BS that we have nothing to talk about now, but just trying to see whether me showing true distance has any impact. I just don't have a clue now where his head is at.

I'm thinking of that email more for when I get closer to the point where I have to make a decision on Dublin. Honestly I am pretty close now as I am going to have to buy a plane ticket soon, and tell my boss when I am coming home. I'm just so freaked out to tell H, who is living in this la-la land where I am just here indefinitely. He is like a skittish rabbit, and I don't want to frighten him away, and I also need to think about what will be best for me when I get back. Ugh. If he were TRULY committed to the joint sessions we could talk about these issues then. I just need inspiration or a miracle at this point.

This weekend was pretty uneventful. I have no money :), so went to the gym and hung out in the local coffeeshop.

Did you have a nice weekend?

ITH