I'm still here. It amazes me how many emotional states I can have in any given day. A good example would be this past weekend. My ex, daughter and I went to the zoo and we had just an amazing time. Later that even she called me up on the phone and told me that she and a female co-worker of hers were driving around and looking at houses. She was telling me that they saw a huge house, but it was way above her budget. She then told her co-worker that if she was still married to me that I would have gotten her that house but that she has no feelings for me.
My day was going so great until she mentioned that. I kept my cool while on the phone with her but wept like a baby when we got off. Today she was telling me that she is considering not getting the house with her best friend because her best friend wants a house that is more expensive than she is willing to pay. I have to admit, that did make me smile inside.
Overall, though, I've been okay. I have been working out a lot and that has made a difference in how I feel I've noticed. I still miss my ex a lot though and there are times where I feel so defeated. But I'm in this for the long haul and I'm still learning how to put my emotions aside.
