Hey girls! Looks like everyone is up late. Im working again tonight. These night shifts are killing me!
Hey T2L, welcome back! Hey it is hard not to be angry and sarcastic to these H behavior - Id be careful in front of the kids though. Remember, try to act respectfully - but be strong and no name -calling. It is our responsibility to set the proper example to our children since H's are not. Apology is important -you were brave to do it. But if Im going to offer an apology I would not take all the blame. I would say something like "Im sorry for the way WE behaved toward each other yesterday. It really seemed to bother S" .....or however you want to write it. Try apologizing in WEs, that way neither one is taking direct blame - you still have a backbone, respect, and dignity and he will be less defensive. Of course , this is easier said for me than done. Ive always been the one to worry how others think, always apologizing even if not my fault. So if anyone can offer some other suggestions Ill certainly be open to them - this is just mine.
You know, I agree if H's want this D so bad, they should foot the bill. My H has consulted with atty already and we discussed preliminaries. He already said he will pay the fees, and I certainly did not object. I consulted with an atty on Friday, but paid nothing for the consult. I dont plan on going further than a consult if I dont have to. It is true if both parties agree on provisions you only need one atty, but I want to have someone to go to if this gets in any way out of my or my kids favor. I actually plan to consult with at least one more atty to decide which one I "click" with - I got the name of another one from a friend recently.
Hope3343 - I feel your anxiety about your D's, but just make sure you and H sit and tell them together. I thought that was the way my H and I were going to tell our kids, but then he went ahead and told them without me present. He told them he "didnt love mom anymore, but he "cares" about her. He also told them "Im hurt cuz mom didnt show enugh love" AND told them about OW! So here I was, left with the kids AND the explaining to do.God love D15 for staying so positive. D14 is quite sullen these days but did say the other day "you and dad wont get divorced, mom". I just smiled and said "I like your thinking honey".
No, have not been asked out or dated. My 11y/o twins asked if I would get a boyfriend since daddy has a girlfriend now. I told them no, that was not something I am thinking of right now- Im still married to your daddy - we made a promise to each other" Of course then their gears started grinding and they looked at me inquizitively and asked "so does that mean daddy broke his promise?". Promises are so important at their age (you know - cross your heart hope to die - and the "pinky promise") so my reply really hit home to them. I didnt have to say anything more. But I did ask them if daddy and I do D and I met a nice man in the future, how would you feel about that. D14 immediately replied with "that would be fine mom - its different with you!" Twins said "that would be OK mommy- we want you to have a nice man - you deserve to". I wanted to just bawl.
But anyway, hope, youre smart not to allow yourself to be in that situation. We are too vulnerable right now, aching to feel loved. Two wrongs dont make a right. This is one reason why I am determined to avoid OW H's calls or any other form of contact. In no way am I physically attracted to him, but I have plenty other GIRLfriends I can talk to. I dont need any more drama than I already have. S11 told me that OW's S11 said his dad asked me out. WHAT! I have no idea where that came from . This guy is delusional. I will definitely stay away.
OK well the babies are getting hungry. I will check in later.
__________________________ me 36 H 38 S14 S11 D11 T 21yr M 16yr Oct 17 IDLYA 6-18 H moved out 6-19 H confessed EA(now PA) and asked for D 7-4 anxiously waiting to be "served"
