Pride? Not wanting to look like an even bigger fool by admitting that it was a mistake to leave his family in the first place? Or maybe just a continuation of the MLC---she wasn't "the one," so maybe the next one will be, or the next one after that, or the next one after that...... You get the picture.
But....Wow...I wish I was at that point---current OW out of the picture.
I honestly believe that while DB'ing is good for ME while H has OW, there is no chance at all for us to have any kind of relationship as long as OW is in the picture, DB'ing or no DB'ing. Maybe if he hadn't moved out........but since he did, and since OW has been living with him for 16 months, she is firmly in control. I don't see him often enough for my DB'ing principles and actions to make an impact on him at all. Right now it's all for me. That's fine, but if one of my long-term goals is to save my marriage, it's very frustrating!
I sympathize with your frustration at him not being open to looking back toward the family now that his OW is out of the picture, but at least he has the opportunity. While OW was in the picture, she wouldn't even give him the opportunity to look toward his family.
I wish I had the answers to this whole mess.
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
