I will try to tackle that post another day. I've been reading all morning and I'm kinda burnt out with it
Again no contact from my husband. Day 5. . .
Tomorrow I go back to work so it will at least be a little easier to ignore the fact that is is ignoring me. Then I have Tues and Wed off but I have other things that need to get done. GAL type things.
The only thing I can do is hope and pray that all this time "dark" is giving him time to evaluate things and decide what he wants to do. Which I know is probably a repeat but I am really trying to make it stick in my brain so I don't go off the deep end. The longer he takes the more he must be thinking. Right? If he had already reached a decision he would have said something. Right?
I just hope he hasn't done anything stupid. ie found another girl to take his mind off of things. I don't think he would do that but if he is really upset still who knows what he is capable of. I certainly don't. I never thought that he would not speak to me for 5 DAYS!
I know I am turning into a basket case. I'm trying not to. Really I am.
In truth I don't even know how to react when he does contact me. Right now I think I would want to rage and ask why he took so long to talk to me again. I would probably just be happy that he was reaching out. Depends on the medium as well. Text? Call? Email? Random visit?
I got myself all worked up today because some guy came and dropped something off on the porch and my dogs were going nuts and for a fleeting moment I thought "what if he sent me flowers to say he was sorry" I tried to shake it out of my mind but could not go back to reading until I got up and looked. It was the qwest guy dropping off a doorhanger advertisment for faster internet. . .
Grrr! No expectations I know. Put away the 2x4. I need hugs now.
I am reading a book right now called Love Must Be Tough and it is kinda like DR but from a Christian author (Dobson if you know about him) and it talks about the WAS as feeling trapped and that you need to let them out of the cage before they will return to you. When they are in the cage they are just thinking of ways to get out but once the cage door is opened they have to stop and question whether or not they really want to leave the relationship or not.
Hopefully that is what my husband is doing right now. Wondering whether or not he really wants out.
